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A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Aguish

by MY RUIN

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1.
MORNING PRAYER Last night I had a dream I was drowning again You grabbed my hand And pulled me to safety As I looked into your eyes I saw my savior The person that I knew Had been there all along Just waiting for the chance to kill me We kissed And my mouth started to bleed Then all my teeth fell out I hate it when that happens
2.
Beauty Fiend 03:41
BEAUTY FIEND It’s true, I’ve got demons inside me And sometimes they need to speak My dark places make me feel ugly My lips are glossed but my heart is weak I'm diseased, as seen on TV Please forgive me, for not being pretty Or sexy but god never blessed me Here's what you'll find next time you undress me Scars Wounds I'm bruised Watch me bleed I'm your beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Once again, without perfect teeth I begin The dream as I sleep soon I've sinned My skin is still thick My mouth as always is brutally honest At my calmest, I'm tired of explaining How it feels…to be exploited and rated Number one, two or seventeen Fuck what they print in those damn magazines Scars Wounds I'm used Watch me bleed I'm no beauty Watch me bleed Beauty queen Watch me bleed I'm your beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Stuck inside this mask of mine There's no place for me to hide Won't you please come suck me dry Don't touch me, don't fucking touch me Don't touch me... why? Can't you see beyond my skin Size, my shape, my ass, my tits I am not your pretty face I'm just a girl, the girl you love to hate Watch me bleed I'm no beauty Watch me bleed Beauty queen Watch me bleed I'm the beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Why can't you see beyond my skin Size, my shape, my ass, my tits I am not your pretty face I'm just a girl The girl you love to hate Stuck inside this mask of mine There's no place for me to hide Won't you please come suck me dry Don't, don't you fucking touch me… pig
3.
STICK IT TO ME It doesn't matter what I say Doesn't matter what I do I don't really give a fuck about you Nowadays it's all fake Put some make up on your face Lookin’ like a fuckin' chick in lipstick There is nothing here for me Dressed up in your new disease Hollywood is full of shit Don't ask me to sell my soul I would rather be myself You...do what you're told Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Take a picture if you need While I bleed What makes you think That you know me Dinner and an interview But I'm not a fan you At least I tell the truth Damned if I do Damned if I don't Damned if I will If I won't Stab me in the back And buy me one more drink Suck my trust until I'm fucked Then you can say You fucked me Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to You're so sneaky With your surprises You're so sweet Underneath disguises I can't wait For you to criticize this Don't think I don't know How big your knife is Stick it in me I know you want to Stick it to me You know you’re going to Stick it in me I know you want to Stick it to me You know you’re going to You don't know me Like I know myself And I will never tell You don't know me Like I know myself You can go straight to hell
4.
Heartsick 03:01
HEARTSICK Late night catechism Speaks me to sleep A lethal dose of narcissism Conquers the beast I can't remember How I got my last scar The bible tells us Jesus was a rockstar A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish Early morning exorcisms Keep me awake Seven stars surround me As I burn like a saint I can't remember Why my knees are so sore The bible tells us Mary was a whore A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish There once was a girl And she suffered from sickness Mouth was distorted From razor sharp kisses Tried to pretend It was all in her mind But I know her voice When I hear mine God are you listening I hear you in my room As hot as the moon On the tenth day of June There's no sleeping for me I'm losing my faith Love is not safe In a world filled with hate Heartsick I'm sick Still sick My heart is sick
5.
Rockstar 03:37
ROCKSTAR ("This girl is harder than all you motherfuckers out there alright. Just let me get that one thing perfectly clear" - Lynn Strait / Snot) I feel the skies open wide See your blue eyes When worlds collide You're by my side It's hard to lie Sometimes I've cried Wished it was me... Wished it was me who died I can see you in the sunshine I feel you where I stand I can see you in the bright lights I fell you hold my hand Let your light surround me In loving memory Let your love surround me Shine down on me Shine on me Something so deep inside me Binds me with you Told me a secret Swore that I'd keep it Someday my friend We'll meet again So until then... I'll keep our secret safe I can see you in the moonlight I feel you when I sleep I can see you on those dark nights I feel your arms around me Let your light surround me In loving memory Let your love surround me Shine down on me Shine on me Rockstar We will always be bound We will always be down We will always be bound We will always be down I feel you when I scream your words I am just a girl that hurts Feel me when I scream these words I am just a girl that hurts I feel you when I scream your words I am just a girl that hurts Feel me when I scream these words I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl...that hurts
6.
Sanctuary 03:19
SANCTUARY Dishonest You came with your first kiss Blue eyes sold me On your heavenly presence Something was suffocating me And I couldn't breathe Had no idea that you Would ever deceive I tried to believe all the things That you taught me Christlike images of truth They straight got me Now watch me drown in sadness My lungs gasp for air As I let you stab this heart And rip apart wounds that exist Deeper and darker Than any words I could spit All is shit and it will never be well Because the fires that burn Are my never-ending hell Is this what you call God Your faith is lost Is this what you call God Get off your cross Get off Bridges connect for necessity Lifelines scar my hands Like the rest of me Asked me to trust you And yes I tried to Constant apologies Caused me to lie too Tried to medicate my hate With your magic How could something so sweet End up so tragic Resurrect me From this abyss In death every body function Fails to exist False commitments Tongues twisted with religion A heart shaped rock Of the same size incision Obsolete with no Relief or release Just insomnia filled nights Of never ending sleep Is this what you call God Your faith is lost Is this what you call God Get off your cross Split a piece of wood And I am there Lift a stone And you will find me Are you still scared Sanctuary Sanctuary Sanctuary There's no sanctuary Is this what you call God Is this what you call God Is this Is this Is this what you call love Get off, get off Watch me Get off, get off Watch me Get off, get off Now watch me fall I swallowed all of your lies And they felt good going down Death be not proud
7.
MISS ANN THROPE You're so pretty when you lie Love songs always make me cry I don't think you have a choice There's no truth left in your voice Remember when we used to laugh Just try to forget all that Wear my heart upon your lips I hope it tastes just like shit Just call me Miss Ann Thrope Just call me Miss Ann Thrope You're so pretty when you die Love songs always make me cry I don't think you realize There's no blue left in your eyes Remember when we used to sing Just try to forget those things Fill your hole inside with dirt I hope that it fucking hurts Just call me Miss Ann Thrope Just call me Miss Ann Thrope Just call me Miss Ann Thrope Just call me Miss Ann Thrope You have left a trail of deceit Assault and flattery Blasting through my wounds Imprisoned me In God and poetry A ritual to mend My angry heart A breeding ground for your untruth If God created man In his own image Then, fuck you Ashes to ashes Dust to dust My hate for you Defines my lust Bridges to bridges You're nothing to me Welcome world Miss Ann Thrope Ashes to ashes Dust to dust My hate for you Defines my lust Bridges to bridges You're nothing to me Welcome world Miss Ann Thrope Fuck, c*nt Miss Ann Thrope C*nt, fuck Miss Ann Thrope
8.
Hemorrhage 04:14
HEMORRHAGE I stick my finger down your throat Explore my thoughts of murder A journey through the human heart Dark places filled with terror Obsession lets me have my way Devotion makes you stay This mercy seat you imitate Won't let you get away In praise of him I pray In praise of him I save In praise of him I give myself away Come kiss away my honesty Exploit me with your pain Learn to love this monster You created in your name Confession lets you face your fear Redemption leaves a stain The thought of me makes you so sick There's nothing left to hate In praise of him I pray In praise of him I save In praise of him I give myself away again In praise of him I've prayed In praise of him I'm saved In praise of him I gave myself away A different sort of suffering I practice what I preach Aroma therapeutic death Can you smell me speak If violence is religion Then everyone's a star It doesn't matter what you've done Only who you are Who you are Who you are Underneath the Hollywood cross Underneath this holy wood cross My lover let me tie you down Hold your heart my hostage I promise after I am through Your skin will still taste salted My mouth is not your enemy My lips are not your friend If we were still together I would torture you again In praise of him I pray In praise of him I save In praise of him I give myself away In praise of him I've prayed In praise of him I'm saved In praise of him I hate myself today You never know what you will find Until you look inside I never knew what I would find And then I looked inside Let me torture you again Torture you my friend Let me torture you again Like you tortured me, my friend Let me torture you again Like you tortured me, my friend Let me torture you again Torture you my friend It never ends....
9.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR You believe everything you read You believe everything you read You believe everything you read I can't believe what the fuck I read Scream - words that I believe Friends - became my enemies Think - think before you speak Don't - think you know me My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk Keep talking Keep talking Keep talking Keep talking Fight - say what's on my mind Lies - words you hide behind Be - careful what you say Stay - stay the fuck away My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk Keep talking My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk My heart is an empty hole Hands wanna wrap around your throat Legs bruise everywhere you walk Mouth spits all the shit you talk Keep talking Keep talking Keep talking Keep talking In a world of lies, I find myself advised To just pretend I'm nice And not to say what's on my mind But in a world of shit I think you're just a bitch Who couldn't fuck or suck my dick Cause I'm a chick Don't think I give a damn I say these things because I can Honesty is the holiest disease Honesty is the holiest disease Honesty is the holiest disease Honestly is the holiest disease Honesty Honesty Honesty Honesty Honesty Honesty
10.
Let It Rain 03:29
LET IT RAIN I like the way you make me feel Syrupy and clean You have a strange effect on me Loving every scream Baptize this thing that burns Everytime you bath me If I confess too many sins Will you still save me Rain Rain Rain Let it rain As beautiful as a scar There's nothing quite like you I cut myself on your lips Let you lick my wounds So southern is my savior So sick inside my head But if I let you rescue me Will I be left for dead Rain Rain Rain Let it rain Let it rain Down on me Let it rain Down on me Let it rain Down on me Let rain, rain The skies illumination Comes from the city below And I can taste every inch of your kiss Every inch of your soul From over here Do you feel faith or do you feel fear
11.
POST NOISE REVELATION It seems you're always searching For a new religion Drown yourself in absolution To excuse your sins Nowadays it's easy to be swayed By images portrayed There is nothing you won't do To get paid So full of shit You make me sick Post noise revelation Cult of my frustration Post noise revolution Is there no solution It seems you're sucked into a scene Of what the latest rage is Force fed MTV The new disease that is contagious Videos that cost a million bucks With fakes degrading ladies Can I be a fan of you, baby So full of shit You make me sick Post noise revelation Cult of my frustration Post noise revolution Is there no solution Post noise revelation Cult of my frustration Post noise revolution Is there no solution What seems to be the cancer I don't know the answer Someone needs to tell me What they're trying to sell me What's the fucking cancer I don't know the answer Someone needs to tell me now
12.
DO YOU LOVE ME Do you love me? Do you love me? He found me on the night of fire and noise Wild bells from rang the wild sky I knew from that moment on That i would love him till the day that I died And he kissed away a thousand tears His lady of her Various Sorrows Some begged, some borrowed, some stolen Some kept safe for tomorrow On an endless night, the silver star spangled And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Like I love you? He was given to me to put things right And I stacked all my accomplishments beside him In a city so obsolete and small I found God and all His devils inside him In my bed he cast the blizzard out A mock sun blazed upon his head So completely filled with light he was His shadow fanged and hairy and mad Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Like I love you? All things move toward their end I knew before I met him that I would lose him I swear I made every effort to be good to him I made every effort not to abuse him Tattoos from his wrists to his ankles And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle jingle-jangle jingle-jangle jingle-jangle Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? DO YOU LOVE ME? Like I love you?
13.
EVENING PRAYER The wages of sin Hold my heart hostage My mouth is still cruel My skin is in bondage My body is scarred From lyrics I've carved Bruises I've healed Lips that I've starved Wounds I've replaced With love and with hate The truth set me free But my faith was raped I've broken my silence Lied to myself Spoken in violence Been someone else Screamed at my demons Prayed to my God Begged for forgiveness My hands are still hot
14.
MY WAR My war You're one of them You said, you're my friend But you're one of them You don't want to see me live You don't want me to give You're one of them My war You're one of them You said, you're my friend But you're one of them, them, them, yeah War You're one of them You said, you're my friend But you're one of them Well I might not know what a friend is All I know is what you're not You're one of them My war You're one of them You said, you're my friend But you're one of them Yeah Yeah You call yourself a friend Fuck you I've got better enemies than you And this is my war baby Go home Get the fuck outta here
15.
MASOCHRIST Come to me As Christ redeemed Your make up hides identity But I can see You're still diseased Get off your cross Get off your knees Dare I see the same in me Never thought that I could be So you just lick your wounds But it's too late Trust will lead you To your own fate Masochrist What you sew Is what you reap You're only sick as Secrets that you keep And what you use Is what you'll need But I can't stand to Watch you bleed for me Forgive me father For I'm not clean I'd rather be Miss Magdalene Your Vaseline won't heal my demons Cause I don't talk to God I'm screaming Dare I see the same in me You never thought That I would be So let me bruise my knees Rape my faith Scar myself with love and with hate Masochrist What you sew Is what you'll reap You're only sick as Secrets that you keep And what you use Is what you need But I can't stand to Watch you bleed for me For me For me For me Oh lord hear my prayer You look like you are scared I do what you taught me It's your turn to watch me Oh lord hear my prayer Pull me by my black hair And stab me with your greed It's my turn to bleed What I sew Is what I reap I'm only sick as Secrets that I keep And what I use Is what I need Can you stand to Watch me as I bleed I bleed I bleed I'm bleeding for you

about

This album is a FREE DOWNLOAD and our gift to friends & fans. Please SHARE the ROCK LOVE! If you care to make a DONATION in the name of ART with your DOWNLOAD, we thank you and appreciate the support in continuing to keep our DIY spirit of independence alive in our music past to present day! Please check out our NEW rock project SWTEVL @ swtevl.bandcamp.com ♥ Enjoy and KEEP IT SACRED!❤️‍🔥

◄| A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish / Press Quotes |►

"With 'A Prayer...' the Queen B has for the first time lent her name to something that's every bit as in your face and scary as she is. Opener 'Beauty Fiend' pulls you into the album with a hand clamped firmly around your throat.'Please forgive me for not being pretty or sexy' begs the B-ster 'But God never blessed me' before breaking into her trademark harridan howl to the accompaniment of scorching metal guitars from new boy Mick Murphy.
'Stick It To Me' follows the repulsively catchy 'Stick it in me, I know you want to' chorus that's guaranteed to reduce any front row males to jelly when they play it live. 'Rockstar' is a touching (lyrically at least) tribute to the late Snot singer Lynn Strait and you can actually hear Tairrie's voice breaking as she hollers the closing 'I feel you when I scream your word, I am just a girl that hurts' refrain. 'Sanctuary' also marks how well her new band members gl as they grind out a solid rap-metal groove while Tairrie vents her spleen on the vagaries of religion. A couple of starkly contrasting covers help to keep My Ruin sounding fresh. A bleak reading of Nick Cave's 'Do You Love Me' is perfectly suited to Miss B's sultry drawl and loses none of it's dark atmosphere in the translation. Black Flag's 'My War', on the other hand, is a breakneck blast that collapses into a dense wall of noise that Henry Rollins would be proud of. It may be because of her position as a female focal point
in a male dominated industry, but Tairrie B has undoubtedly had more than her (un)fair share of media attention in the past (and the vicious 'Letter To The Editor' shows she's none too pleased about it) yet it is rarely centered around her craft. With 'APUPOVA' being her heaviest, angriest and most cohesive album to date, it's high time that changed. 'A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish' could be one of the best female fronted metal albums ever!"

- Mark Griffiths | Kerrang!
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" 'A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish' - Tairrie B's best to date. Pious, politicized, perennially misunderstood."

- Neil Kulkarni | Metal Hammer U.K.
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"With a hard shot to the testicles of cock rock, Tairrie B and company rip out the heart of rock & roll and stomp on it a bit like every bad girl does now and then. My Ruin is not a candy coated girlie band at all. They'd probably wipe the floor with any of your favorite male bands, with their earth shaking riffages
and anger fueled vocals firmly in tow."

- Metal Edge
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"She is definitely the new force to be reckoned with on today's metal scene. I would venture to say one of the best metal CD's I have heard in years/ This CD is a must, skip the car payment and walk to work, if you have to but get this CD, you won't be sorry."

- Maximum Rock & Roll
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Not so much a sophomore album as a full blown exorcism - A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish - just goes to show how far Catholic guilt, feminist rage and focused hatred can go. Heavy is not the word. In an age of hard rock accountants and charlatans, here is the genuinely modern article."

- Dele Fadele NME
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"As literally, the only one with the balls, guitarist Mick Murphy churns out the heavy, fuzz-laced sound like a young Iommi. Tairrie screaming herself raw is utterly compelling because MY RUIN are the sound of a breakdown put to music. My Ruin wear their ravaged hearts on their sleeves; they might be one of the rawest expressions of musical catharsis ever witnessed."

- Joshua Sindell | Kerrang!
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"'Beauty Fiend' is a rumbling roaring start to the album but nothing compared to the pant-shitting heaviness of track two, 'Stick It To Me'. Tairrie descends into a roar that peels skin and, whoa, that guitar sound, fuck. Sick as hell! Album of the month without a doubt."

- Graham Finney | Intoxicated
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"My Ruin‘s second album, A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish (2000), was the first with Mick Murphy, and, it introduced the band’s heavier sound, driven by Murphy’s sludgy Black Sabbath-esque riffs.MyRuin-05 This album is my favorite My Ruin album. The first single, “Beauty Fiend”, is Tairrie B’s response to music critics who perceive her looks and body as part of her talent: “Why can’t you see beyond my skin / Size, my shape, my ass, my tits / I am not your pretty face / I’m just a girl, the girl you love to hate.” This song is one of My Ruin‘s best, but the album is filled with great tracks. The excellent “Rockstar” is a tribute to Tairrie B’s friend Lynn Straight, singer of Snot who died in 1998. “Heartsick” kicks out the biggest Black Sabbath influence, riff-wise, while “Let It Rain”, “Sanctuary” (which recalls Tura Satana‘s rapcore) and “Hemorrhage” are other cool tracks. This album also includes two covers: Nick Cave‘s “Do You Love Me” and Black Flag‘s “My War”, in which Mick shares vocals with Tairrie B."

- Rock Chicks Rule
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" 'A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish' is the sort of things nightmares are made of. Tairrie fronts the heaviest of heavy metal. This is all about the attitude."

- Steve Burnette | Virtual Cardiff
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"Her remarkable growl sounds like Max Cavalera in the throes of an exorcism."

- NME
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"Her vocals range from the sexy sounding whisper to out and out aggro/harsh/rage barks that would make Pantera's Phil Anselmo opp his pants. My Ruin is a band that makes Limp Bizkit and all their wretched brethren sound like the bunch of whiny preschoolers that they really are. My Ruin's migraine-inducing fusion of postindustrial doomsday metal and vocals that can be best described as The Exorcist meets 'Like A Prayer' are quit intense."

- Jim Freek | New Times Magazine
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"My Ruin’s “A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish” is the much heavier and more cohesive follow up to the first release, “Speak & Destroy.” My Ruin marks the newest chapter in Tairrie B.’s music career. The woman who has gone from a glam rapper working with the likes of Dr. Dre through various metal incarnations as Manhole and later Tura Satana, Tairrie has emerged with her ruin, the effacing of herself as the central focus to be part of a band.
And the band is good. The riffs crunch and brutalize in the vein of Black Sabbath meets the heavy, older brother of Rage Against the Machine. The band, although harkening stylistically to Sepultura and Fear Factory, is a new breed set far apart from the usual derivativeness of the other Limp Korn Bizkits that followed in their wake.Tairrie’s shrieks come across as ballsy as if she had a pair. They are loud and masculine, contrasted throughout the album with a sweet crooning that could be the voice of that three packs of cigarettes a day waitress we’ve all encountered from time to time. The one who calls you, “Hon,” and then coughs up blood. Don’t forget to keep the disc spinning for My Ruin’s unlisted cover of Black Flag’s “My War.”

- Modern Fix Magazine
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"After last year's storming resurgence with her new band My Ruin, the fearsome femme-fatale that is Tairrie B is back amongst us again with album number two." A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish" is undeniable proof that this is a woman with more than the average amount of ball per pound. One thing's for sure, Miss B ain't taking no prisoners this time."

- Joady Thornton | Rock Sound
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"This is the second album by My Ruin, and shows that some elements of the first have been retained while the group is still exploring new directions. If you are easily offended, it might be a good idea to steer clear of this one, though -- A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish really has something to offend everyone. However, if you are a fan of hard-edged modern rock, it most likely has something to entertain you as well. This one is a bit more straightforward and mainstream than My Ruin's debut full-length. That said, this is very hard and outrageous rock music done with a highly irreverent approach."

- Gary Hill | Movie Mars
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"YES !!! My first 5 Star review for the heavy metal category. Get this CD. These ladies and a gent just rocked my world. Whoa! On guitar is Mick Murphy, on bass is Meghan Mattox.The vocalist's name is "Tairrie B", and she is angry. It shows in the music. This is what metal was supposed to be; Dangerous. I'm impressed. I didn't expect to hear this from a majority female band. This is amongst the heaviest of metal and you can expect nightmares. This girl screams herself raw and the guitar tracks are HOT! This CD is DANGEROUS.'A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish' is some of the best metal I've heard in a while. Nothing new compares. If you're a metal fan , get this CD. I read that Track #2 made the UK charts, and their shows sell out there. It's time for America to know about this band."

- John Thomas | Ear Candy

credits

released September 18, 2000

Lyrics & Vocals - Tairrie B
Guitar - Mick Murphy
Bass - Meghan Mattox
Drums - Chris Hamilton

Cover Photo by Paul Harries
Produced by Nick Raskulinecz, Mick Murphy & Tairrie B
Engineered by Andrew Alekel
Mixed by Nick Raskulinecz
Recorded @ Grandmaster Recorders - Hollywood, Ca.
Mastered by Mark Chalecki @ Capitol Mastering - Hollywood, Ca.

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