The Cathartic Collection

by MY RUIN

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
SACROSANCTITY The music is magick Nostalgic, romantic Exalted, traumatic The moment Is tragic Catharsis I’m bleeding this London to Los Angeles The process of reliving this Give my wrists one last slit Desire into fire we became Something sacred, sanctified profane Blasphemous I remain Venerated in my pain Confession is confessing this Filled with contempt No mercy from us Sacrosanctity Power of belief Incarnation of reality Sacrosanctity Power of belief Honesty, the holiest disease Catharsis I’m feeling this London to Los Angeles The process of revealing this Requiem for one last fist Passionate in abstinence Vehement with violence Brutal words invoke silence Timelessness in defiance Expression is expressing this Filled with contempt No mercy from us Sacrosanctity Power of belief Incarnation of reality Sacrosanctity Power of belief Honesty, the holiest disease Sacrosanctity Sacrosanctity I summon ghosts of long dark nights Through the wounds that we survived True to myself no compromise I am the conjure wife Immortalized, desensitized Another woman demonized Burn the witch and watch her rise It takes a death to feel alive It takes a death to feel... It takes a death to feel... Catharsis I’m healing this London to Los Angeles The process of releasing this Bittersweet one last kiss Blood red lips, no regrets My heavy heart is venomous In reverence with resonance Immaculate unholy sentiment Possession is possessing this Filled with contempt No mercy from us Sacrosanctity Power of belief Incarnation of reality Sacrosanctity Power of belief Honesty, the holiest disease Sacrosanctity Sacrosanctity I talk to God but the sky is empty My own worst enemy In memory of 2020 Modus Vivendi I talk to God but the sky is empty My own worst enemy In memory of 2020 Modus Vivendi I talk to God but the sky is empty
2.
CHAPTER I ♱ REBIRTH I created My Ruin in 1999 after the self-imposed death of Tura Satana. The band formerly known as Manhole. My Ruin was my blasphemous new beginning, but I must confess, what was meant to be a solo project quickly turned into a band because of one man. He came into my life like a fire, illuminating my path and helping me to heal from my past. Love has a redemptive power to transform individuals, rearrange your heart and restore your faith. "Speak and Destroy", "A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish", "To Britain with Love and Bruises" allowed me to reinvent myself as an artist and introduced me to my musical partner and future husband. The songs we have included from these first 3 albums set the tone for this collection. A reminder of who we were in those early years of fiery transformation and seduction. We were falling in love while fighting our demons and it felt like heaven to be screaming.
3.
Terror 05:23
TERROR This is what you call me I strike terror among men I can't be bothered by what they think I bare my cross, my soul, myself I forgive, but I never forget I've been put upon this earth in female form But I can handle myself with the best of you As well as the worst And I often have I have the right to remain silent But I choose to speak, sing, scream I am lips, hips, tits I am the power of a woman Strong like music True like friendship But without my friends There would be no music Only spoken word Fucker! Fucker! I am able to change So I live without regret Without remorse, only a remix I am drunk, I am sober Heaven doesn't want me And Hell's afraid I'll take over Don't bother trying to censor me Or shut me up, because it won't work I am cold and distant Yet warm and close To those who deserve to see that side of me Part of me, the heart of me You find me so hard to understand in your world The world you perceive to be so normal I am deformed, scorned, reborn I am me, and I know exactly who I am, what I am And the wrath I bring, the ugly beauty The lying truth, the virgin whore, the quiet storm A lover, a fighter, a saint, a sinner A sister, a daughter, old school, a beginner I have decorated myself With love, hate, truth, you All of you, both of you, none of you More than one of you Fucker! Fucker! With lips like sugar, eyes like mead I've watched men Come and go and cheat I sleep to dream and dream of sleep I had a dream, Joe That you were standing in the middle of an open grove I had a dream, Joe That your hands were raised up to the sky And your mouth was covered in foam I've been crucified, justified And mortified by my behavior Both feminine, and masculine I am a contradiction and juxtaposition My relief is my release And only time will tell All's well that ends well I am unsweetened, unclean Been called drama queen Ex-girlfriend, ex-member The tantrum, the temper I point my finger, take the blame And this time I will own the name Because no one is going to ruin me If I have to, I will ruin myself And it will be my ruin Fucker! Fucker! Fucker! Fucker! Fucker!
4.
Beauty Fiend 03:41
BEAUTY FIEND It’s true, I’ve got demons inside me And sometimes they need to speak My dark places make me feel ugly My lips are glossed but my heart is weak I'm diseased, as seen on TV Please forgive me, for not being pretty Or sexy but god never blessed me Here's what you'll find next time you undress me Scars Wounds I'm bruised Watch me bleed I'm your beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Once again, without perfect teeth I begin The dream as I sleep soon I've sinned My skin is still thick My mouth as always is brutally honest At my calmest, I'm tired of explaining How it feels…to be exploited and rated Number one, two or seventeen Fuck what they print in those damn magazines Scars Wounds I'm used Watch me bleed I'm no beauty Watch me bleed Beauty queen Watch me bleed I'm your beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Stuck inside this mask of mine There's no place for me to hide Won't you please come suck me dry Don't touch me, don't fucking touch me Don't touch me... why? Can't you see beyond my skin Size, my shape, my ass, my tits I am not your pretty face I'm just a girl, the girl you love to hate Watch me bleed I'm no beauty Watch me bleed Beauty queen Watch me bleed I'm the beauty Watch me bleed Beauty fiend Why can't you see beyond my skin Size, my shape, my ass, my tits I am not your pretty face I'm just a girl The girl you love to hate Stuck inside this mask of mine There's no place for me to hide Won't you please come suck me dry Don't, don't you fucking touch me… pig
5.
STICK IT TO ME It doesn't matter what I say Doesn't matter what I do I don't really give a fuck about you Nowadays it's all fake Put some make up on your face Lookin’ like a fuckin' chick in lipstick There is nothing here for me Dressed up in your new disease Hollywood is full of shit Don't ask me to sell my soul I would rather be myself You...do what you're told Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Take a picture if you need While I bleed What makes you think that you know me Dinner and an interview But I'm not a fan you At least I tell the truth Damned if I do, damned if I don't Damned if I will, if I won't Stab me in the back And buy me one more drink Suck my trust until I'm fucked Then you can say you fucked me Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to Stick it to me I know you want to Stick it in me You know you're going to You're so sneaky with your surprises You're so sweet underneath disguises I can't wait for you to criticize this Don't think I don't know how big your knife is Stick it in me I know you want to Stick it to me You know you’re going to Stick it in me I know you want to Stick it to me You know you’re going to You don't know me like I know myself And I will never tell You don't know me like I know myself You can go straight to hell
6.
Sick With It 03:02
SICK WITH IT Sick Sick with disease Deny addiction Down on my knees Feed my affliction Scared to believe My own decisions Eager to please Distorted visions Breathe life Need life Breath life Keep life Lie and deceive With no emotion False promises Loss of devotion Scarred by deceit My self-destruction Love obsolete Live in disfunction Breathe life Need life Breathe life Keep life Bleed life Heal life Feel life The sweet life…is all I want... Can I bleed for the ritual Bleed for it Got a need for the ritual Can I breathe for the ritual Breathe for it Got a need for the ritual Got a need for the ritual Can I breathe for the ritual Breathe for it Got a need for the ritual Sick with it Sick with it Sick with it Sick with it Sick with it Sick with it Sick With It! It's inside me I feel it growing Nowhere to hide my anger's showing Breathe life Need life Breathe life Keep life Bleed life Heal life Feel life The sweet life And on this dark night of my soul I will continue to pray for us and try to remember only the good things The sweet life The sweet life
7.
Rockstar 03:37
ROCKSTAR I feel the skies open wide See your blue eyes When worlds collide You're by my side It's hard to lie Sometimes I've cried Wished it was me who died I can see you in the sunshine I feel you where I stand I can see you in the bright lights I fell you hold my hand Let your light surround me In loving memory Let your love surround me Shine down on me Shine on me Something so deep inside me Binds me with you Told me a secret Swore that I'd keep it Someday my friend We'll meet again So until then I'll keep our secret safe I can see you in the moonlight I feel you when I sleep I can see you on those dark nights I feel your arms around me Let your light surround me In loving memory Let your love surround me Shine down on me Shine on me Rockstar We will always be bound We will always be down We will always be bound We will always be down I feel you when I scream your words I am just a girl that hurts Feel me when I scream these words I am just a girl that hurts Feel you when I scream your words I am just a girl that hurts Feel me when I scream these words I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl that hurts I am just a girl That hurts
8.
Sycophant 03:18
SYCOPHANT Something wicked this way comes Premeditated evil numbs Cartoon kids crayola smiles Children of the korn fed styles But I don't buy your lies I see through your disguise Don't feel your screams or cries why I'm sick of looking so sick I can't I'm sick of the sycophant Sick of listening so sick I can't I'm sick of the sycophant I see you breathless and deranged A little girl who's acting strange Tryna scare us with your scream But it's all routine And all you do is take steal And imitate you are what you create You're fake I barely recognize You in your new disguise Cosmetic covered eyes Just tell me why Why Why Why You put the make-up on, You take the make-up off Searching to be found But you're so fuckin' lost Now the road to hell is paved with stones And some of those are fakes and clones Counterfeits which suck and bleed us Wearin' fuckin' Adidas But something ain't just right, No substance only hype With faith you got the life that made you rich And a punk ass bitch Sick of you and anyone like you, Sometimes I think I've lost my mind Or else this whole world's blind
9.
Sanctuary 03:17
SANCTUARY Dishonest, you came with your first kiss Blue eyes sold me your heavenly presence Something was suffocating me and I couldn't breathe Had no idea that you would ever deceive I tried to believe all the things that you taught me Christlike images of truth, they straight got me Now watch me drown in sadness My lungs gasp for air as I let you stab this heart And rip apart wounds that exist Deeper and darker than any words I could spit All is shit and it will never be well Because the fires that burn are my never-ending hell Is this what you call God Your faith is lost Is this what you call God Get off your cross Get off Bridges connect for necessity Lifelines scar my hands like the rest of me Asked me to trust you and yes I tried to Constant apologies caused me to lie too Tried to medicate my hate with your magic How could something so sweet end up so tragic Resurrect me from this abyss In death every body function fails to exist False commitments, tongues twisted with religion A heart shaped rock of the same size incision Obsolete with no relief or release Just insomnia filled nights of never ending sleep Is this what you call God Your faith is lost Is this what you call God Get off your cross Split a piece of wood and I am there Lift a stone and you will find me Are you still scared Sanctuary Sanctuary Sanctuary There's no sanctuary Is this what you call God Is this what you call God Is this Is this Is this what you call love Get off, get off Watch me Get off, get off Watch me Get off, get off Now watch me fall I swallowed all of your lies And they felt good going down Death be not proud
10.
MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER Ring around my lover I'm a motherfucker Gashes, gashes.... Your mouth blooms like a cut Sweet and full of sin I prick myself on your thorns And I bleed within Your petals start to fall And the weeds attack In my torture garden My blue sky is black My beautiful flower He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not My beautiful flower He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not Our love starts to spoil My lips bleed like a rose Underneath the soil Is where the evil grows My petals fade to brown And you watch me die In my torture garden Under black sunshine My beautiful flower You love me not You love me You love me not You love me You love me not My beautiful flower You love me not You love me You love me not You love me You love me not Your mouth blooms like a cut Sweet and full of sin I prick myself on your thorns And I bleed within Our love starts to spoil My lips bleed like a rose Underneath the soil Is where my evil grows I am earth You can feel me touch you Hear me breath Cause it's my air that loves you And I am fire You will feel me burn you Come inside And I'll be water with you He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me He loves me not He loves me...not
11.
Heartsick 02:58
HEARTSICK Late night catechism speaks me to sleep A lethal dose of narcissism conquers the beast I can't remember how I got my last scar The bible tells us Jesus was a Rockstar A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish Early morning exorcisms keep me awake Seven stars surround me as I burn like a saint I can't remember why my knees are so sore The bible tells us Mary was a whore A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish A prayer under pressure Of violent anguish There once was a girl And she suffered from sickness Mouth was distorted From razor sharp kisses Tried to pretend it was all in her mind But I know her voice When I hear mine God are you listening I hear you in my room As hot as the moon on the tenth day of June There's no sleeping for me I'm losing my faith Love is not safe in a world filled with hate Heart sick I'm sick Still sick My heart is sick
12.
Masochrist 03:05
MASOCHRIST Come to me As Christ redeemed Make up hides your identity But I can see You're still diseased Get off your cross Get off your knees Dare I see The same in me Never thought that I could be So you just lick your wounds But it's too late Trust will lead you to your own fate Masochrist What you sew Is what you reap You're only sick As secrets that you keep And what you use Is what you'll need But I can't stand to watch you bleed To watch you bleed For me Forgive me father For I'm not clean I'd rather be Miss Magdalene Your Vaseline won't heal my demons Cause I don't talk to God I'm screaming Dare I prove The same in you I never thought that I was true So let me bruise my knees Rape my faith Scar myself with love and with hate Masochrist What you sew Is what you'll reap You're only sick as Secrets that you keep What you use Is what you'll need I can't stand To watch you bleed For me For me For me For me Oh lord hear my prayer You look like you are scared I do what you taught me It's your turn to watch me Oh lord hear my prayer Pull me by my black hair Stab me with your greed It's my turn to, bleed What you sew Is what you reap You're only sick as Secrets that you'll keep And what I use Is what I need Can you stand to watch me as I breath I breath I breath I'm breathing For you
13.
Let It Rain 03:27
LET IT RAIN I like the way you make me feel Syrupy and clean You have a strange effect on me Loving every scream Baptize this thing that burns Everytime you bath me If I confess too many sins Will you still save me Rain Rain Rain Let it rain As beautiful as a scar There's nothing quite like you I cut myself on your lips Let you lick my wounds So southern is my savior So sick inside my head But if I let you rescue me Will I be left for dead Rain Rain Rain Let it rain Let it rain Down on me Let it rain Down on me Let it rain Down on me Let rain, rain The skies illumination Comes from the city below And I can taste every inch of your kiss Every inch of your soul From over here Do you feel faith or do you feel fear
14.
BLASPHEMOUS GIRL Drunk with sin She sits in her skin Filled with anger Fueled by liquor Drowns in dreams With no savior From the truth None can save her He is her own personal Jesus And he will not be her last God wants a piece of her ass God wants a piece of my ass I am...a blasphemous girl I am...a blasphemous girl I am...a blasphemous girl I am...a blasphemous girl Magnum mouthed I shoot to kill You murder me With lies and guilt Strangle me with tragic hands God wants a piece of her ass God wants a piece of my ass I am...a blasphemous girl I am...a blasphemous girl I am... Stab me...like a stalker Rape me...like a hero Stab me...like a stalker Rape me…and be my hero Bless me darling And I will forgive you Eloquent and full of grace You speak in tongues Behind my back A dry lung vocal martyr I will suffer for my lover I will suffer for his sins I will suffer for my lover I am suffering for him Torture me with timelessness Worship my fist With every kiss Resurrection of my pain Drag me down our memory lane Introduce me to devotion Leave me numb With no emotion Stars surround you When I feel you You look better when I cannot see…you Honesty...looks good on you But liar should be your tattoo.
15.
CHAPTER II ♱ RESURRECTION A work of art is a confession and good for the soul, but nothing spoils confession like repentance which often takes a heavy toll. The crucifixion was our realization. From “The Horror of Beauty” into “The Brutal Language”, our journey became the destination which eventually led us to “Throat Full of Heart.” The album that resurrected us but literally ripped me apart. Through my wounds I found myself questioning if I would ever have the courage to stand on stage again or scream. Perseverance, determination and commitment gave us our redemption. An artistic revival. It is the confession, not the priest that brings absolution, salvation and survival.
16.
SILVERLAKE 6571 The forecast said it would be sunny I guess they got it wrong It's raining again in Silverlake And I need to hear my song The one that puts me in the mood To spill my guts and talk to you Saves me from my self-inflicted worry when I do Oh, you're asleep right now but I'm still wide awake It's hard for me to close my eyes without no pill to take I think of all the times I tried, the nights I dreamed I'd died Help me feel alive again 'cause I'm so dead inside Well, I'm a liar and you're my saint It feels so good being the one they hate And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray I wouldn't want it any other way Well, have you heard the news, I've got a blue bruise on my hip The truth can be a brutal business, I just need a kiss Someone to tape my wrists, I think that I'm about to bleed But I know it's not up to you to give me what I need Oh, you're awake right now so I must be asleep It seems I've got a secret that I ain't afraid to keep I think of all the times I tried to tell you how I feel But it's so hard to mend my wounds that just refuse to heal Well, I'm a liar and you're my saint It feels so good being the one they hate And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray I wouldn't want it any other way Take me back, let's go back It's so dark here, it's so black Exquisite with stillness, the fragrance of flesh The taste of revenge and my wounds are still fresh Now here she comes with her bloody red lips Funeral-white skin and her generous hips Drenched in the scent of romance like no other She's so filthy gorgeous that death has become her Well, I'm a liar and you're a saint It feels so good being the one they hate And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray I wouldn't want it any other way
17.
MADE TO MEASURE I was born like this With hips like this Lips like this And wrists like this Legs like this And arms like this A fist like this to hit you with...now You're like school on Sunday You ain't got no class Keep runnin' your mouth punk But you can kiss my ass Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall I got the curves to fear I got the words to feel And when I scream I've heard them say I've got the voice to heal You don't have to be sorry You don't have to be saved You just need to be proud Of the body that God gave Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall Listen to me say...yeah! I'm so fat, I'm fucked up I'm so skinny, I'm sick I'm so tired of the magazines Talking that bullshit I'm not fat, they're fucked up I'm not skinny, they're sick I'm just tired of the critics Who keep talking that bullshit I was born like this With eyes like this Teeth like this And thighs like this A face like this A waist like this And when I die I'll die like this...now You're like school on Sunday You ain't got no class Keep running your mouth but I just might kick your ass Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall Not made to measure, baby One size does not fit all I will not be the one You make to take the fall Let me hear you say...yeah! You're so fat, you're fucked up You're so skinny, you're sick You're so tired of the magazines Talking that bullshit You're not fat, they're fucked up You're not skinny, they're sick You're just tired of the critics Who keep talking that bullshit Now what Now what Now what What you gonna say the next time you see us Now what Now what Now what What you gonna say the next time you see me
18.
Memento Mori 03:53
MEMENTO MORI Remember you are mortal Remember you will die Within this moment of truth You must prove yourself divine And when salvation comes The water always rises The devil hides his face And smiles in his disguises No mercy, pity or love All pray in their distress And in our garden of delight There is no forgiveness No mercy, pity or love Your hero she will burn Time flies among the roses Infected by the worm O kind and most sweet Jesus The day of the dead has passed They question our existence For nothing ever lasts Irreverent with regret There is a howling storm The angel fell from grace And now her halo's filled with thorns No mercy, pity or love All pray in their distress And in our garden of delight There is no forgiveness No mercy, pity or love Your hero she will burn Time flies among the roses Infected by the worm Ore para nosotros Ore para nosotros All my precious wounds will leak From this prophecy I speak Pierce my arms and my feet Cast myself down on my knees Through repentance she is saved From her sins and hate within. Mememto Mori Hope and sentiments of faith Benevolent and safe Memento Mori Ore para nosotros Ore para nosotros
19.
COLD HANDS, WARM HEART In the sunshine Of an otherwise cloudy day Do you believe in fate Come what may I've been heavy And I’ve been light I’ve been the one stayin' up all night I've been low And I’ve been high Been the first to try And I know my dark Cold hands, warm heart Save me from myself In the darkness of an otherwise sunny day Do you believe in fate Come what may... I've been strong And I’ve been weak I’ve been the one unafraid to speak I've been wrong And I’ve been right Been the first to fight And I know my dark Cold hands, warm heart Save me from myself When I die Bury me Underneath the weeping tree And when I rise Carry me To the hills for all to see My life... The brutal language of being in love Why lie The brutal language of being in My life... The brutal language of being in love Why lie The brutal language of being in love
20.
BURN THE WITCH I see her coming Filled with her disease Don't bother running She sees me Her smile is thick So sick there ain't no cure I never wanna be just like her No Burn...Burn the witch I watch her leave Still filled with her disease Don't give a fuck what she thinks Her hands are clean But no one here believes So full of shit That she stinks Burn...Burn the witch Burn...Burn the bitch The antithesis to everything she is The enemy I am her nemesis Miss ugliness will stick and linger So I just focus on my middle finger Burn...Burn the witch Burn...Burn the witch I see her coming I see her, I see her I see her coming Burn the witch I see her running I see her, I see her I see her running Burn that witch
21.
RELIGIOSITY Through the eyes of vanity Chaos and anarchy You come to me With open arms still needing Have lamb, will martyr Have lamb, will slaughter Let me lay my hands upon you And bring you to your knees Religiosity Dedication and belief Your God can't help you now Curiosity There is no relief My God is empty now Through the eyes of vanity The years of sanity I come to you With open wounds still bleeding Have lamb, will martyr Have lamb, will slaughter Lay yourself upon me baby And bring me to my knees Religiosity Dedication and belief My God can't help me now Curiosity There is no relief Your God is empty now Obscene dirt worshiping heathens flock To the Judas like flies on shit The only way to get rid of the pain Is just to live through it And we are punished For having no regrets And we are banished By those who bought into it If knowing is cognition And feeling is effect Then doing is behavior What comes next Through the eyes of greed and lust You never wanted to believe in us Is it a love of lying Or is it fear of dying Does it really matter If no one bothers trying And in the aftermath When there is nothing left Will everyone just go away when everything has been said The road to perdition Is paved with good intentions The road to salvation Is lined with your obsessions
22.
HOT IN THE HOUSE OF GOD With a heavy heart somebody said Let's go our separate ways Our relationship is strained In the vital stage There is a lack of confidence And you can feel our stress A need for truth Time to decide What is and is not best Faith - Subject to change Forgive - Far too late Fate - End of your game Hot in the house of God...I rage With a question left I will confess Put my mind And past to rest Termination of our trust Friendships end And this one must The time has come To make our move And we can see What we can't prove The little things That make no sense Have all built up To be immense Faith - Subject to change Forgive - Far too late Fate - End of your game Hot in the house of God...I rage Faith - Subject to change Forgive - Far too late Fate - End of your game Hot-In-The-House-Of-God Nothing's the same Everything's changed Faith - Subject to change Forgive - Far too late Fate - End of your game Hot in the house of God...I rage Faith - Subject to change Forgive - Far too late Fate - End of your game Hot in the house of...God Nothing's the same Nothing's the same For every minute you spend angry You waste sixty seconds of happiness
23.
THROUGH THE WOUND- Late at night I watch as the sun comes up The break of day is not enough Was I really dead And I remember how I felt This time last year Wonder will it disappear Somethings gotta give Never let go of that fiery sadness Throat full of heart Mouth of madness By mistake I swallow another pill Bittersweet is such a thrill Try to feel alive And I forget all the pain just goes away Wish that I could sleep all day disconnect myself Never let go of that fiery sadness Throat full of heart Mouth of madness Is it better to defeat this monster Be secure in the silence Or to be devoured... devoured? And when I stand before you at the end of this Will I have enough guts to love Those little slices of my death Never let of that fiery sadness Never let go of that fiery sadness And I would rather have eyes that can't see Ears that can’t hear Lips that can't speak. Than a heart which no longer can beat This strange melancholy pervades me At which I hesitate To give the grave And that beautiful name of...my life On the other side of the scars The way out is through the wound On the other side of the scars The way out is through the wound Courage doesn't always roar Sometimes courage is that little voice At the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow
24.
THE DEVIL WALKS It takes a lot to get me down When I'm high I know you're no friend of mine I can see the Devil in your eyes Look at me, I'm Jesus Christ All alone so throw your stones At my words and lovely bones Blood that's red and mouth that's mean Raise your fucking hands with me Forgive - I have sinned Believe I'll do it again Well, I've been down this road before And every time You never change your mind You see me in black and white Nailed to the cross and crucified Look around me Smell the flies Judas filling me with lies But I don't hide the blood I bleed Raise your fucking hands with me Forgive - I have sinned Believe I'll do it again Walk with me through the valley Fear no evil Walk with me I'm the baddest motherfucker in the valley With all of your questions And words in your head You went searching for God And met the Devil instead Walk with me through the valley Fear no evil Walk with me Honesty is the holiest disease
25.
Spitfire 02:35
SPITFIRE I put my trust in you And you betrayed me Took what I gave you And fucking raped me But you can't kill me It's not that easy I'm still standing Still breathing Spitfire Spit hate Spit all the shit you talk Right back in your face I spit liars I spit names I spit truth and my song remains the same I gave you faith When none believed you Barely escaped But who deceived who You tried to guilt me With things you'd tell me You didn't build me You can't sell me Spitfire Spit hate Spit all the shit you talk Right back in your face I spit liars I spit names I spit truth and my song remains the same Small man-big mouth Small man-big mouth Yeah Fuck your label Spitfire Spit hate Spit all the shit you talk Right back in your face I spit liars I spit names I spit truth and my song remains the same Small man-big mouth Misogynistic Small man-big mouth Chauvinistic Small man-big mouth Small man-big mouth You suck
26.
SPILLING OPEN I watch the buzzards gather But no one's dead today Like sheep they follow after And promise not to stray. Her darling little bastards Scarred with elitist black But I know when I stab her It won't be in her back I’m spilling open Inside my house of leaves It doesn't matter what's been said It's what my heart believes! It seems the hive is buzzing The bees protect their queen While snakes with poison venom Appear upon the scene So ugly in their hatred God bless the Maybelline So arrogant that when she cuts It's done for all to see I’m spilling open It's killing all of me. And I hate I’ve become From what's been done to me Homecoming queens are pretty From being dressed in pink But perfume can't disguise a pig and I can smell her stink Miss Ann Thrope once sang to me With words that tasted sweet But now the slaughterhouse Has turned her voice to meat Not everybody's everything They ever claim to be Not everything is black and white Friend or my enemy I guess it doesn't really matter When there's nothing left Sometimes you gotta let it go And just enjoy the death
27.
READY FOR BLOOD Daughters of Mara Cast this net into the shallow Drag the water Personalities so hollow Underneath the surface Cowards tell their tales of woe Count your casualties so clever Nothing stays buried forever Tell your god to ready for blood Words will be your own demise Tell your god to ready for blood Loyalty is just a lie Drag the water Trust in those that we can see Daughters of Mara Recognize my enemies Forgive our trespasses Keep our conscious clean Let me give your last words to the devil Nothing stays buried forever Tell your god to ready for blood Words will be your own demise Tell your god to ready for blood Loyalty is just a lie Time heals everything Except this hatred in my heart Friendships that can cease were never true I'd rather be feared than be loved Tell your god to ready for blood Stay the fuck away from us Tell your god to ready for blood Tell your god we've had enough Learn who is real Recount them at a later date, Burn Hollywood burn All those that are so fake Sleep deprived me Of impulsiveness to lie Now I send condolences To those that we watched die No good deed goes unpunished In the end I won't remember Words of enemies Just the silence of those Who claimed to be friends of me Desecrated memories Became a blessing in disguise It took a brutal language To open up my fucking eyes
28.
CHAPTER III ♱ REFLECTION With age comes wisdom and with each new chapter, an evolution. The elimination of tension by bringing it to consciousness and exorcising it with expression. The haunting “Ghosts and Good Stories” gave us the reckoning that was “A Southern Revelation” to which we went to war and struck a chord. The pen is mightier than the sword. The Sacred Mood was our final offering of musical catharsis. The process of releasing and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions. A purification. A cleansing through art. To scream is the very definition of a powerful cathartic ritual and journey through the human heart. As I look back on our 9 albums in loving memory, I remember the blood, sweat and tears that often went into creating these songs with the man who still stands beside me today. "The Cathartic Collection" is a celebration of our relationship and a reflection of 20 years together in and around My Ruin. The beautiful brutality, the happiness and pain, the raw throat, the heavy riffs, the sacred and profane.
29.
TENNESSEE ELEGY Under a black and starry sky Make my peace and say goodbye Dig the grave and watch it die Bury this in my mind Within a stream of consciousness Cold is so intense My fingers freeze But my language vents The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships Once sacred now irreverent The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships I’m unable to mend my fences On top of white and snowy ground Lose myself in the sound My sorrows I drown Listen to the wind howl The darkness I feel Winters chill in my bones My heart will ache But my words hit home The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships Once sacred now irreverent The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships I’m unable to mend my fences This is an elegy A funeral for your sins This is a eulogy This is your requiem I turn and walk away I’m growing colder by the day I turn and walk away The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships Once sacred now irreverent The unintended consequences Of complicated friendships I’m unable to mend my fences This is an elegy A funeral for your sins This is a eulogy This is your requiem
30.
LONG DARK NIGHT Hail Mary, full of grace Be my muse and give me strength Holy Mary, full of sin Hear my prayer and let me in Welcome to my long dark night Can't sleep or close my eyes Little slices of death I loathe them Refuse to get to know them My rebirth of a scream Eternalux with a heart at peace O Lord have mercy till it hurts Heed my words This revelation won't be televised My sacrifice will be this long dark night This revelation won't be televised My sacrifice will be This long dark night of the soul Blessed is the one who reads These words of prophecy Heavy is the hand that smites In God we trust and fight We rise from the dead And write our own new testament Oh, Lord have mercy I'm in mourning Heed my warning This revelation won't be televised My sacrifice will be this long dark night This revelation won't be televised My sacrifice will be This long dark night of the soul This, my winter of discontent Listen as I repent Bleed for me on this night long Hear me as I speak in tongues Blasphemy is so easy When you've lost your faith and don't believe Help me heal my mind This happens every time Hands out wide I say to you Praise my scars and sacred wounds Feel my pain and scripture inked in paint I'm no saint This revelation won't be televised This revelation won't be televised This revelation won't be televised This revelation won't be televised On this long dark night of my soul
31.
HERETIC DREAMS Myths are flowers of imagination They grow freely fed by mystery Watered by our hopes and faith in metaphor Dressed up in the truth they beautifully adorn Gardens of our minds reborn Resurrected from the past we left behind Religion Just like superstition Is the weed that strangles reason Blood is beauty flowing from the veins Of inspiration to our hearts Beating as our dreams and real life collide Decorated in our sins we shed our skins Strengthen our lungs Breathe and kill the demons with the magic of our tongues Religion Just like superstition Is the weed that strangles reason The image of the lord has been replaced By a mirror and the Devil’s face A virtuous heretic shall be saved Before a wicked Christian preys Religion Just like superstition Is the weed that strangles reason Religion Just like superstition Is the weed that strangles reason
32.
EXCOMMUNICATED Excommunicated Another holy war The cost of friendship is this heavy cross I bare until I’m sore Don’t find it necessary To show my piety These are the end of days no solace in this city In a world that makes me sick I will be your heretic In a world that makes me sick I will be your heretic I split my lip They cut their teeth Sometimes silence is A perfect scream Don’t ask why this stone is in my hand Won’t be seeing you again my friend Excommunicated Another holy war Los Angeles is just a heavy dose Of all that I deplore The shine has left me With no remorse or love And all the soarings of my mind Begin within my blood In a world that’s filled with faith You can’t take my blasphemy In a world that’s filled with faith You can’t take my blasphemy I split my lip They cut their teeth Sometimes silence is A perfect scream Don’t ask why this stone is in my hand Won’t be seeing you again my friend This is the story of brothers With dirty faces A city filled with angels Liars and betrayers This is a requiem for a friend And born of hate A walk down memory lane That took it all away
33.
HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE I’ve got a knife inside my back And it’s diggin’ deeper everyday I’ve got a letter in my hand With words I know I need to say It makes me sick to think We ever trusted or believed you So stay the fuck away from us Cause we no longer need you I’m so ready Yes I’m ready to unload again Highly explosive You were warned I might explode again Yeah we’re ready, we’re so ready Here we go again You tried to stop us once But this is now and that was then I’m burning up again I’m on fire motherfucker Might explode again You’re a lying motherfucker I’ve read those ugly things you said And I just can’t get em out my head I’ve heard about your nasty mouth The trash I know you talked all over town It makes me sick to think We ever trusted or believed you So stay the fuck away from us Cause we no longer need you I’m so ready Yes I’m ready to unload again Highly explosive You were warned I might explode again Yeah we’re ready We’re so ready, here we go again You tried to stop us once But this is now and that was then I’m burning up again I’m on fire motherfucker Might explode again Cause you’re a lyin’ motherfucker And you know I’m crazy A ticking time bomb baby That’s right I’m fuckin' crazy Highly explosive baby I suggest you stay the fuck away from me
34.
GOD IS A GIRL w/a BUTCHER KNIFE Red are the lips With a tongue so sharp Kiss her mouth And cut out her heart I can feel the heat From the sun I scorn The sicken of the calm Who know the storm Suffer - Love her Death is the veil Which those who live call life They sleep and it’s lifted God is a girl with butcher knife A butcher knife Black is the hair With the skin so white Drown her sins In the pale moonlight I can feel the earth Bleed beneath my feet The strength of the dirt Where the flesh is weak Suffer - Lover Death is the veil Which those who live call life They sleep and it’s lifted God is a girl with butcher knife Music, when harsh voices die Vibrates in the memory And so will thoughts When thou art is gone My words shall live on Death is the veil Which those who live call life They sleep and it’s lifted God is a girl with butcher knife The mistress of the verbal hand grenade Be my muse The good book speaks to those Who seek the truth But where’s the proof An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth
35.
DIGGIN' FOR GHOSTS Time waits for no one The days grow older and I grow colder This Devil's on my shoulder And he's smiling at me But I don’t trust what he’s saying And I don’t wanna believe I find it hard to cry when I'm spent Tie the wires around my head Pound the nails into my flesh And I'm bleeding again I'm diggin' for ghosts and good stories Scarlet to the bone If I kill all my demons Will my angels leave me alone Time waits for no one The nights get longer and I get stronger Your God is standing before me With his arms out wide But I don’t wanna give in to him So he can judge me or my life I find it hard to cry when I'm spent Tie the wires around my head Pound the nails into my flesh And I'm bleeding again I'm diggin' for ghosts and good stories Scarlet to the bone If I kill all my demons Will my angels leave me alone Time is like the wind It leaves the light and lifts the heavy I've seen my fate and I'm not afraid In fact I’m ready Each moment has its memory And this too shall pass Whether I wake or sleep I still believe that nothing lasts...forever Haughty eyes and a lying tongue Hands that shed innocent blood A heart that devises wicked plots Feet that are swift to run I've burned my bridges down Turned my back on this town I've burned my bridges down Turned my back on this town Let us pray that we enter not into temptation The spirit is willing indeed but the flesh is weak And as you sow, shall you reap In loving memory
36.
DECONSECRATED Built my church with words of violence Spoke my sermons to the pious I seek myself for guidance My religion is defiance Holy Mother you keep quiet Truth hurts so you deny it I can’t take another liar Burn that witch till she’s on fire Every friend is a future enemy In this temple of doom and family Sacrificed my life for this to be All I know is all I ever will be Praise my God in words of violence Suffer for my art in silence I speak in tongues to riot My religion is defiance Holy Father full of fear Truth is you disappeared I can never be your daughter Just another lamb to slaughter Every friend is a future enemy In this temple of doom and family Sacrificed my life for this to be All I know is all I ever will be This is a Southern Revelation In with the new out with the old This is a Southern Revelation A restoration of a soul I am light In my world I am darkness A blasphemous girl Every friend is a future enemy In this temple of doom and family Sacrificed my life for this to be All I know is all I ever will be I am light In my world I am darkness A blasphemous girl Every friend is a future enemy In this temple of doom and family Sacrificed my life for this to be All I know is all I ever will be
37.
HONEY OF THE HUMAN SOUL We fall into hell And feel the slow burn all over us Intoxicated by the sound Darkness covers us Deep inside the abyss With voices in the air Crimson skies open wide While sunlight says a prayer The pain inside is hard to hide Our scars are sung in lullabies Sung in lullabies At night We start to dream And the wind begins to follow us Now every wall in our room Just wants to swallow us Underneath I breathe A sigh of relief Turn the volume to ten Just to hear myself scream The pain inside is hard to hide Our scars are sung in lullabies Sung in lullabies At night I lose myself in the chaos That comes with the day Collaborate on the clouds So I can feel safe The music comes to me Just like a friend and comforts me A guilty conscious will confess While words are haunting me The pain inside is hard to hide Our scars are sung in lullabies Sung in lullabies We store the honey of our human souls Inside our tears Gathered on wings of misery We let go of our fears We choose to let our moods Create our escape Turn off the world And now we’re floating in space
38.
THE SOULLESS BEAST The soulless beast He came to feast upon our hearts with sin He took the form of many men And called himself a friend His charming words They lead us to believe and follow him We couldn’t see his teeth But we could feel his grin The abomination That causes desolations The abomination That causes desolations The soulless beast Appeared so confident to gain our trust Born of a jackal But disguised himself as one of us He changed his face and shape When we would start to realize He was as evil As the book of Daniel prophesied The abomination That causes desolations The abomination That causes desolations This is our seven daggers of Megiddo This is our Holy Sacrament This is our sacrificial lamb Our moment to repent No more trials and tribulation Revenge is fueled by Nazarene Tonight’s the night we pay our penance This is our slaying of the beast Faith Means not wanting to know what’s true Faith Is a knowledge in the heart beyond the reach of proof The abomination That causes desolations The abomination That causes desolations
39.
ABUSING THE MUSE I've had enough of all this pressure This heavy cross has got me bruised There is no God, prophet or scripture That is more sacred than the truth Tonight I testify (testify) And you've got no excuse (no excuse) I won't apologize (no apologies) When I abuse my muse I will defy your sense of righteous Your indignation of my words Sanctify you with my honesty I get so holy it hurts Tonight I testify (testify) And you've got no excuse (testify) I won't apologize (testify) When I abuse my muse How can I exorcise my Demons Without my true confessions Rants and revelations How will I get to heaven? I will condemn your acts of hate And criticize your arrogance I will offend your book of faith And publicize your ignorance Tonight I testify (testify) And you've got no excuse (testify) I won't apologize (testify) When I abuse my muse Tonight I testify (testify) Speak my mind (testify) Testify (testify) Holy my hand up high I won't apologize
40.
MORIENDO RENASCOR Life and death and time remind us Leave the dust of past behind us Mourn the memories of our mistakes Take our secrets to the grave Blessed is the beast that rises From the ashes of our vices Warnings that must be conveyed Truth is not in being saved Like a phoenix on the bone In death we are reborn Feel the fire burn and scorn Moriendo Renascor Like a phoenix on the bone In death we are reborn Feel the fire burn and scorn Moriendo Renascor In this garden filled with earthly vanities temptation lies Divine salvation only comes to those who die Spirits come and give us light Haunting hearts as black as night When the skies turn dark and grey The dead will have their way Like a phoenix on the bone In death we are reborn Feel the fire burn and scorn Moriendo Renascor Like a phoenix on the bone In death we are reborn Feel the fire burn and scorn Moriendo Renascor This too shall pass so come what may Your tomorrow is today Each night I go to sleep and mourn When I wake I am reborn

about

ca·thar·tic ❤️ Providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis. A purgative drug.

"My Ruin wear their ravaged hearts on their sleeves; they might just be one of the rawest expressions of musical catharsis ever witnessed." - Kerrang Magazine 9.19.2000

-------✟-------

Happy Holidays from My Ruin to YOU!

From the moment we met it was magick. We were drawn to each other the same way we were drawn to the music we have created together over the last two decades. For some our music has been hellfire, for others holy water but for us, it has always been cathartic and something we consider sacrosanct.

Our religion is relationships, and this collection of songs represents My Ruin at our most intense. Our most incensed. A vital and volatile, collaborative, heartfelt mix of screaming with spoken word. Fiery passion and furious anger accompanied by huge solos, thick riffs and Southern fried swagger. The master of heaviosity and his patron saint of blasphemy.

The way it was meant to be.

On Christmas Eve 2008 we were married but we began making music together in 2000. To commemorate our 20th anniversary and celebrate the music we have made in My Ruin, we wanted to release something timeless, in loving memory for those who have followed us on our musical journey since the beginning and for those who may discover us at a later date.

Over the years we have been told how much our music has meant to so many and this has always meant so much to us. As an underground band, we have no mainstream, radio friendly greatest hits but we have made music that connects, resonates and offers solace with its catharsis to those who need it. Including us.

"The Cathartic Collection" is a set of 36 songs which we have remastered and thoughtfully curated into 3 chapters from our extensive discography spanning our 9-album history in My Ruin. Each 12-song chapter represents 3 albums and is introduced by its own spoken word interlude.

Our magnum opus begins with a new and a final song which we recorded at our home studio in Knoxville, Tennessee during the pandemic in 2020. “Sacrosanctity” is a poetically passionate, raw throated and relentless 6-minute metallic lament meant to represent our band, past to present.

CHAPTER I – REBIRTH
Speak & Destroy (1999)
A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish (2000)
To Britain with Love & Bruises (2001)

CHAPTER II – RESURRECTION
The Horror of Beauty (2003)
The Brutal Language (2005)
Throat Full of Heart (2008)

CHAPTER III – REFLECTION
Ghosts and Good Stories (2010)
A Southern Revelation (2011)
The Sacred Mood (2013)

Although we love each other, it is no secret that we fell out of love with the music industry long ago. From the Devils at record labels to the duplicitous managers, promoters and a few band members who have left us cold & disenchanted along the way. Many of whom invoked the emotions and inspired the songs in this collection of immaculate confessions as well as our need to do it ourselves.

Our way.

While we have made the decision to put My Ruin on a permanent hiatus from touring, we will continue to remain true to ourselves and our music. This includes our side projects and solo recordings which are simply extensions of who we are as artists. Throughout the highs and lows of being on the road and playing shows over the last 2 decades, there have been many memorable moments together on and off stage with friends & fans of our band all over the world and for that, we are forever grateful.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

As 2020 comes to an end and you journey back with us amid this nostalgic walk through our rock love and listen, we hope you enjoy this free / digital only download and gift to you. Something sacred to scream to. If you choose to donate, we thank you.

May these songs invoke memories of your own and inspire you to speak your truth, trust your heart and never be afraid to turn your trauma into art.

With love,
T & M
12.24.20
❤️⚔❤️

As My Ruin mark their 20th anniversary with The Cathartic Collection, livewire singer Tairrie B looks back over the triumphs and tragedies, electric shocks and hard knocks that’ve carried her to the here and now. - KERRANG MAGAZINE

READ ★ www.kerrang.com/features/i-had-to-carry-a-gun-to-visit-my-record-label-my-ruins-tairrie-b-on-30-tumultuous-years-of-righteous-rap-and-rock


The first time I was photographed by iconic rock photographer Paul Harries was in London, England for Kerrang Magazine in 1996. I was on my first tour with my previous band Manhole. From those early days through Tura Satana and into My Ruin, we have worked together countless times over the years and become good friends. In 1999, Paul Directed My Ruin's first video for "Terror" and photographed my debut album cover for "Speak And Destroy" followed by "A Prayer Under Pressure Of Violent Anguish" with Mick in 2000. In 2012 Paul photographed Mick and I backstage at the Scala in London while on our Southern Revelation Tour of the UK. This has always been one of my favorite photos he has taken of us.

In honor of our 20th Anniversary, Paul has made this image of My Ruin available as a special limited edition print to celebrate the release of "The Cathartic Collection" in collaboration with our band. Each print has been digitally signed & stamped with our signatures and classic My Ruin sacred heart logo, embossed, signed and numbered by Mr Harries.

If you are interested in ordering a print to commemorate our new album, please click the link below for details. 💋 TBM

PHOTO ★ www.paulharries.com/photo_16804856.html



WATCH ★ Ready For Blood (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldy09zE-qfk

WATCH ★ Religiosity (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMfxZIyWaY4

WATCH ★ Tennessee Elegy (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJwsBH00zm0e

WATCH ★ Long Dark Night (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lveaT9plsCE

WATCH ★ Moriendo Renascor (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNP_nITIuyQ

WATCH ★ Excommunicated (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNKOGElsyA

WATCH ★ Diggin' For Ghosts (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pAmZJpZDfM

WATCH ★ Deconsecrated (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9hb78ol574

WATCH ★ Burn The Witch (OfficIal Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyDdlUDyjbw

WATCH ★ Heretic Dreams (Official Video)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfogdPgtP00

credits

released December 24, 2020

All Lyrics by Tairrie B. Murphy
Remastered by Mick Murphy
@ The Magick Room - Knoxville, TN.
Cover Art by Tairrie B. Murphy

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

MY RUIN Knoxville, Tennessee

contact / help

Contact MY RUIN

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like MY RUIN, you may also like: