1. |
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SACROSANCTITY
The music is magick
Nostalgic, romantic
Exalted, traumatic
The moment Is tragic
Catharsis
I’m bleeding this
London to Los Angeles
The process of reliving this
Give my wrists one last slit
Desire into fire we became
Something sacred, sanctified profane
Blasphemous I remain
Venerated in my pain
Confession is confessing this
Filled with contempt
No mercy from us
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Incarnation of reality
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Honesty, the holiest disease
Catharsis
I’m feeling this
London to Los Angeles
The process of revealing this
Requiem for one last fist
Passionate in abstinence
Vehement with violence
Brutal words invoke silence
Timelessness in defiance
Expression is expressing this
Filled with contempt
No mercy from us
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Incarnation of reality
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Honesty, the holiest disease
Sacrosanctity
Sacrosanctity
I summon ghosts of long dark nights
Through the wounds that we survived
True to myself no compromise
I am the conjure wife
Immortalized, desensitized
Another woman demonized
Burn the witch and watch her rise
It takes a death to feel alive
It takes a death to feel...
It takes a death to feel...
Catharsis
I’m healing this
London to Los Angeles
The process of releasing this
Bittersweet one last kiss
Blood red lips, no regrets
My heavy heart is venomous
In reverence with resonance
Immaculate unholy sentiment
Possession is possessing this
Filled with contempt
No mercy from us
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Incarnation of reality
Sacrosanctity
Power of belief
Honesty, the holiest disease
Sacrosanctity
Sacrosanctity
I talk to God but the sky is empty
My own worst enemy
In memory of 2020
Modus Vivendi
I talk to God but the sky is empty
My own worst enemy
In memory of 2020
Modus Vivendi
I talk to God but the sky is empty
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2. |
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CHAPTER I ♱ REBIRTH
I created My Ruin in 1999 after the self-imposed death of Tura Satana. The band formerly known as Manhole. My Ruin was my blasphemous new beginning, but I must confess, what was meant to be a solo project quickly turned into a band because of one man. He came into my life like a fire, illuminating my path and helping me to heal from my past. Love has a redemptive power to transform individuals, rearrange your heart and restore your faith. "Speak and Destroy", "A Prayer Under Pressure of Violent Anguish", "To Britain with Love and Bruises" allowed me to reinvent myself as an artist and introduced me to my musical partner and future husband.
The songs we have included from these first 3 albums set the tone for this collection. A reminder of who we were in those early years of fiery transformation and seduction. We were falling in love while fighting our demons and it felt like heaven to be screaming.
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3. |
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TERROR
This is what you call me
I strike terror among men
I can't be bothered by what they think
I bare my cross, my soul, myself
I forgive, but I never forget
I've been put upon this earth in female form
But I can handle myself with the best of you
As well as the worst
And I often have
I have the right to remain silent
But I choose to speak, sing, scream
I am lips, hips, tits
I am the power of a woman
Strong like music
True like friendship
But without my friends
There would be no music
Only spoken word
Fucker!
Fucker!
I am able to change
So I live without regret
Without remorse, only a remix
I am drunk, I am sober
Heaven doesn't want me
And Hell's afraid I'll take over
Don't bother trying to censor me
Or shut me up, because it won't work
I am cold and distant
Yet warm and close
To those who deserve to see that side of me
Part of me, the heart of me
You find me so hard to understand in your world
The world you perceive to be so normal
I am deformed, scorned, reborn
I am me, and I know exactly who I am, what I am
And the wrath I bring, the ugly beauty
The lying truth, the virgin whore, the quiet storm
A lover, a fighter, a saint, a sinner
A sister, a daughter, old school, a beginner
I have decorated myself
With love, hate, truth, you
All of you, both of you, none of you
More than one of you
Fucker!
Fucker!
With lips like sugar, eyes like mead
I've watched men
Come and go and cheat
I sleep to dream and dream of sleep
I had a dream, Joe
That you were standing in the middle of an open grove
I had a dream, Joe
That your hands were raised up to the sky
And your mouth was covered in foam
I've been crucified, justified
And mortified by my behavior
Both feminine, and masculine
I am a contradiction and juxtaposition
My relief is my release
And only time will tell
All's well that ends well
I am unsweetened, unclean
Been called drama queen
Ex-girlfriend, ex-member
The tantrum, the temper
I point my finger, take the blame
And this time I will own the name
Because no one is going to ruin me
If I have to, I will ruin myself
And it will be my ruin
Fucker!
Fucker!
Fucker!
Fucker!
Fucker!
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4. |
Beauty Fiend
03:41
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BEAUTY FIEND
It’s true, I’ve got demons inside me
And sometimes they need to speak
My dark places make me feel ugly
My lips are glossed but my heart is weak
I'm diseased, as seen on TV
Please forgive me, for not being pretty
Or sexy but god never blessed me
Here's what you'll find next time you undress me
Scars
Wounds
I'm bruised
Watch me bleed
I'm your beauty
Watch me bleed
Beauty fiend
Once again, without perfect teeth I begin
The dream as I sleep soon I've sinned
My skin is still thick
My mouth as always is brutally honest
At my calmest, I'm tired of explaining
How it feels…to be exploited and rated
Number one, two or seventeen
Fuck what they print in those damn magazines
Scars
Wounds
I'm used
Watch me bleed
I'm no beauty
Watch me bleed
Beauty queen
Watch me bleed
I'm your beauty
Watch me bleed
Beauty fiend
Stuck inside this mask of mine
There's no place for me to hide
Won't you please come suck me dry
Don't touch me, don't fucking touch me
Don't touch me... why?
Can't you see beyond my skin
Size, my shape, my ass, my tits
I am not your pretty face
I'm just a girl, the girl you love to hate
Watch me bleed
I'm no beauty
Watch me bleed
Beauty queen
Watch me bleed
I'm the beauty
Watch me bleed
Beauty fiend
Why can't you see beyond my skin
Size, my shape, my ass, my tits
I am not your pretty face
I'm just a girl
The girl you love to hate
Stuck inside this mask of mine
There's no place for me to hide
Won't you please come suck me dry
Don't, don't you fucking touch me… pig
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5. |
Stick It To Me
03:02
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STICK IT TO ME
It doesn't matter what I say
Doesn't matter what I do
I don't really give a fuck about you
Nowadays it's all fake
Put some make up on your face
Lookin’ like a fuckin' chick in lipstick
There is nothing here for me
Dressed up in your new disease
Hollywood is full of shit
Don't ask me to sell my soul
I would rather be myself
You...do what you're told
Stick it to me
I know you want to
Stick it in me
You know you're going to
Stick it to me
I know you want to
Stick it in me
You know you're going to
Take a picture if you need
While I bleed
What makes you think
That you know me
Dinner and an interview
But I'm not a fan you
At least I tell the truth
Damned if I do
Damned if I don't
Damned if I will
If I won't
Stab me in the back
And buy me one more drink
Suck my trust until I'm fucked
Then you can say
You fucked me
Stick it to me
I know you want to
Stick it in me
You know you're going to
Stick it to me
I know you want to
Stick it in me
You know you're going to
You're so sneaky
With your surprises
You're so sweet
Underneath disguises
I can't wait
For you to criticize this
Don't think I don't know
How big your knife is
Stick it in me
I know you want to
Stick it to me
You know you’re going to
Stick it in me
I know you want to
Stick it to me
You know you’re going to
You don't know me
Like I know myself
And I will never tell
You don't know me
Like I know myself
You can go straight to hell
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6. |
Sick With It
03:02
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SICK WITH IT
Sick....
Sick with disease
Deny addiction
Down on my knees
Feed my affliction
Scared to believe
My own decisions
Eager to please
Distorted visions
Breathe life
Need life
Breath life
Keep life
Lie and deceive
With no emotion
False promises
Loss of devotion
Scarred by deceit
My self destruction
Love obsolete
Live in dysfunction
Breathe life
Need life
Breathe life
Heal life
Bleed life
Feel life
Keep life the sweet life
Is all I want, all I want
Can I bleed for the ritual
Bleed for it
Got a need for the ritual
Can I breathe for the ritual
Breathe for it
Got a need for the ritual
Can I breathe for the ritual
Breathe for it
Got a need for the ritual
Can I bleed for the ritual
Bleed for it
Got a need for the ritual
Sick with it
Sick with it
Sick with it
Sick with it
Sick with it
Sick with it
Sick with It
It's inside me
I feel it growing
Nowhere to hide
My anger's showing
Breathe life
Need life
Breathe life
Heal life
Bleed life
Feel life
Keep life the sweet life
And on this dark night of my soul
I will continue to pray for us
And try to remember only the good things
The sweet life
The sweet life
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7. |
Rockstar
03:37
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ROCKSTAR
("This girl is harder than all you motherfuckers out there alright. Just let me get that one thing perfectly clear" - Lynn Strait / Snot)
I feel the skies open wide
See your blue eyes
When worlds collide
You're by my side
It's hard to lie
Sometimes I've cried
Wished it was me...
Wished it was me who died
I can see you in the sunshine
I feel you where I stand
I can see you in the bright lights
I fell you hold my hand
Let your light surround me
In loving memory
Let your love surround me
Shine down on me
Shine on me
Something so deep inside me
Binds me with you
Told me a secret
Swore that I'd keep it
Someday my friend
We'll meet again
So until then...
I'll keep our secret safe
I can see you in the moonlight
I feel you when I sleep
I can see you on those dark nights
I feel your arms around me
Let your light surround me
In loving memory
Let your love surround me
Shine down on me
Shine on me
Rockstar
We will always be bound
We will always be down
We will always be bound
We will always be down
I feel you when I scream your words
I am just a girl that hurts
Feel me when I scream these words
I am just a girl that hurts
I feel you when I scream your words
I am just a girl that hurts
Feel me when I scream these words
I am just a girl that hurts
I am just a girl that hurts
I am just a girl that hurts
I am just a girl that hurts
I am just a girl...that hurts
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8. |
Sycophant
03:18
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SYCOPHANT
One, two Freddy's coming' for you
Three, four better lock your door
Five, six grab your crucifix
Something wicked this way comes
Premeditated evil numbs
Cartoon kids crayola smiles
Children of the Korn fed styles
But I don't buy your lies
I see through your disguise
Don't feel your screams or cries
Why...
I'm sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...
I see you breathless and deranged
A little girl who's acting strange
Tryna scare us with your scream
But it's all routine
And all you've done is take
Steal and imitate you are what you create
You're fake...
I'm sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...
I barely recognize
You in your new disguise
Cosmetic covered eyes
Just tell me... why...why...why...why
You put the make-up on
Take the make-up off
Searching to be found
But you're so fuckin' lost
So fuckin' lost
Now the road to hell is paved with stones
And some of those are fakes and clones
Counterfeits which suck and bleed us
Wearin' fuckin' Adidas
But something just ain't right
No substance only hype
With "Faith" you got the life that made you rich
And a punk ass bitch
I'm sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of looking, so sick I can't
I'm sick...of the sycophant
Sick of listening, so sick I can't
I'm sick...sick, sick of you
And anyone like you
Sometimes I think I've lost my mind
Or else this whole world's blind
Damn, fuck...there's gonna be a fight now
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9. |
Sanctuary
03:17
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SANCTUARY
Dishonest, you came with your first kiss
Blue eyes sold me your heavenly presence
Something was suffocating me and I couldn't breathe
Had no idea that you would ever deceive
I tried to believe all the things that you taught me
Christlike images of truth, they straight got me
Now watch me drown in sadness
My lungs gasp for air as I let you stab this heart
And rip apart wounds that exist
Deeper and darker than any words I could spit
All is shit and it will never be well
Because the fires that burn are my never-ending hell
Is this what you call God
Your faith is lost
Is this what you call God
Get off your cross
Get off
Bridges connect for necessity
Lifelines scar my hands like the rest of me
Asked me to trust you and yes I tried to
Constant apologies caused me to lie too
Tried to medicate my hate with your magic
How could something so sweet end up so tragic
Resurrect me from this abyss
In death every body function fails to exist
False commitments, tongues twisted with religion
A heart shaped rock of the same size incision
Obsolete with no relief or release
Just insomnia filled nights of never ending sleep
Is this what you call God
Your faith is lost
Is this what you call God
Get off your cross
Split a piece of wood and I am there
Lift a stone and you will find me
Are you still scared
Sanctuary
Sanctuary
Sanctuary
There's no sanctuary
Is this what you call God
Is this what you call God
Is this
Is this
Is this what you call love
Get off, get off
Watch me
Get off, get off
Watch me
Get off, get off
Now watch me fall
I swallowed all of your lies
And they felt good going down
Death be not proud
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10. |
My Beautiful Flower
04:17
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MY BEAUTIFUL FLOWER
Ring around my lover
I'm a motherfucker
Gashes, gashes....
Your mouth blooms like a cut
Sweet and full of sin
I prick myself on your thorns
And I bleed within
Your petals start to fall
And the weeds attack
In my torture garden
My blue sky is black
My beautiful flower
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
My beautiful flower
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
Our love starts to spoil
My lips bleed like a rose
Underneath the soil
Is where the evil grows
My petals fade to brown
And you watch me die
In my torture garden
Under black sunshine
My beautiful flower
You love me not
You love me
You love me not
You love me
You love me not
My beautiful flower
You love me not
You love me
You love me not
You love me
You love me not
Your mouth blooms like a cut
Sweet and full of sin
I prick myself on your thorns
And I bleed within
Our love starts to spoil
My lips bleed like a rose
Underneath the soil
Is where my evil grows
I am earth
You can feel me touch you
Hear me breath
Cause it's my air that loves you
And I am fire
You will feel me burn you
Come inside
And I'll be water with you
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me...not
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11. |
Heartsick
02:58
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HEARTSICK
Late night catechism
Speaks me to sleep
A lethal dose of narcissism
Conquers the beast
I can't remember
How I got my last scar
The bible tells us
Jesus was a Rockstar
A prayer under pressure
Of violent anguish
A prayer under pressure
Of violent anguish
Early morning exorcisms
Keep me awake
Seven stars surround me
As I burn like a saint
I can't remember
Why my knees are so sore
The bible tells us
Mary was a whore
A prayer under pressure
Of violent anguish
A prayer under pressure
Of violent anguish
There once was a girl
And she suffered from sickness
Mouth was distorted
From razor sharp kisses
Tried to pretend
It was all in her mind
But I know her voice
When I hear mine
God are you listening
I hear you in my room
As hot as the moon
On the tenth day of June
There's no sleeping for me
I'm losing my faith
Love is not safe
In a world filled with hate
Heart sick
I'm sick
Still sick
My heart is sick
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12. |
Masochrist
03:05
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MASOCHRIST
Come to me
As Christ redeemed
Make up hides your identity
But I can see
You're still diseased
Get off your cross
Get off your knees
Dare I see
The same in me
Never thought that I could be
So you just lick your wounds
But it's too late
Trust will lead you to your own fate
Masochrist
What you sew
Is what you reap
You're only sick
As secrets that you keep
And what you use
Is what you'll need
But I can't stand to watch you bleed
To watch you bleed
For me
Forgive me father
For I'm not clean
I'd rather be Miss Magdalene
Your Vaseline won't heal my demons
Cause I don't talk to God
I'm screaming
Dare I prove
The same in you
I never thought that I was true
So let me bruise my knees
Rape my faith
Scar myself with love and with hate
Masochrist
What you sew
Is what you'll reap
You're only sick as
Secrets that you keep
What you use
Is what you'll need
I can't stand
To watch you bleed
For me
For me
For me
For me
Oh lord hear my prayer
You look like you are scared
I do what you taught me
It's your turn to watch me
Oh lord hear my prayer
Pull me by my black hair
Stab me with your greed
It's my turn to, bleed
What you sew
Is what you reap
You're only sick as
Secrets that you'll keep
And what I use
Is what I need
Can you stand to watch me as
I breath
I breath
I breath
I'm breathing
For you
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13. |
Let It Rain
03:27
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LET IT RAIN
I like the way you make me feel
Syrupy and clean
You have a strange effect on me
Loving every scream
Baptize this thing that burns
Everytime you bath me
If I confess too many sins
Will you still save me
Rain
Rain
Rain
Let it rain
As beautiful as a scar
There's nothing quite like you
I cut myself on your lips
Let you lick my wounds
So southern is my savior
So sick inside my head
But if I let you rescue me
Will I be left for dead
Rain
Rain
Rain
Let it rain
Let it rain
Down on me
Let it rain
Down on me
Let it rain
Down on me
Let rain, rain
The skies illumination
Comes from the city below
And I can taste every inch of your kiss
Every inch of your soul
From over here
Do you feel faith or do you feel fear
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14. |
Blasphemous Girl
03:42
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BLASPHEMOUS GIRL
Drunk with sin
She sits in her skin
Filled with anger
Fueled by liquor
Drowns in dreams
With no savior
From the truth
None can save her
He is her own personal Jesus
And he will not be her last
God wants a piece of her ass
God wants a piece of my ass
I am...a blasphemous girl
I am...a blasphemous girl
I am...a blasphemous girl
I am...a blasphemous girl
Magnum mouthed I shoot to kill
You murder me
With lies and guilt
Strangle me with tragic hands
God wants a piece of her ass
God wants a piece of my ass
I am...a blasphemous girl
I am...a blasphemous girl
I am...
Stab me...like a stalker
Rape me...like a hero
Stab me...like a stalker
Rape me…and be my hero
Bless me darling
And I will forgive you
Eloquent and full of grace
You speak in tongues
Behind my back
A dry lung vocal martyr
I will suffer for my lover
I will suffer for his sins
I will suffer for my lover
I am suffering for him
Torture me with timelessness
Worship my fist
With every kiss
Resurrection of my pain
Drag me down our memory lane
Introduce me to devotion
Leave me numb
With no emotion
Stars surround you
When I feel you
You look better when I cannot see…you
Honesty...looks good on you
But liar should be your tattoo.
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15. |
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CHAPTER II ♱ RESURRECTION
A work of art is a confession and good for the soul, but nothing spoils confession like repentance which often takes a heavy toll. The crucifixion was our realization. From “The Horror of Beauty” into “The Brutal Language”, our journey became the destination which eventually led us to “Throat Full of Heart.” The album that resurrected us but literally ripped me apart.
Through my wounds I found myself questioning if I would ever have the courage to stand on stage again or scream. Perseverance, determination and commitment gave us our redemption. An artistic revival. It is the confession, not the priest that brings absolution, salvation and survival.
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16. |
Silverlake 6571
04:37
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SILVERLAKE 6571
The forecast said it would be sunny
I guess they got it wrong
It's raining again in Silverlake
And I need to hear my song
The one that puts me in the mood
To spill my guts and talk to you
Saves me from my self-inflicted worry when I do
Oh, you're asleep right now but I'm still wide awake
It's hard for me to close my eyes without no pill to take
I think of all the times I tried, the nights I dreamed I'd died
Help me feel alive again 'cause I'm so dead inside
Well, I'm a liar and you're my saint
It feels so good being the one they hate
And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray
I wouldn't want it any other way
Well, have you heard the news, I've got a blue bruise on my hip
The truth can be a brutal business, I just need a kiss
Someone to tape my wrists, I think that I'm about to bleed
But I know it's not up to you to give me what I need
Oh, you're awake right now so I must be asleep
It seems I've got a secret that I ain't afraid to keep
I think of all the times I tried to tell you how I feel
But it's so hard to mend my wounds that just refuse to heal
Well, I'm a liar and you're my saint
It feels so good being the one they hate
And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray
I wouldn't want it any other way
Take me back, let's go back
It's so dark here, it's so black
Exquisite with stillness, the fragrance of flesh
The taste of revenge and my wounds are still fresh
Now here she comes with her bloody red lips
Funeral-white skin and her generous hips
Drenched in the scent of romance like no other
She's so filthy gorgeous that death has become her
Well, I'm a liar and you're a saint
It feels so good being the one they hate
And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray
I wouldn't want it any other way
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17. |
Made To Measure
04:41
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MADE TO MEASURE
I was born like this
With hips like this
Lips like this
And wrists like this
Legs like this
And arms like this
A fist like this to hit you with...now
You're like school on Sunday
You ain't got no class
Keep runnin' your mouth punk
But you can kiss my ass
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
I got the curves to fear
I got the words to feel
And when I scream
I've heard them say
I've got the voice to heal
You don't have to be sorry
You don't have to be saved
You just need to be proud
Of the body that God gave
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
Listen to me say...yeah!
I'm so fat, I'm fucked up
I'm so skinny, I'm sick
I'm so tired of the magazines
Talking that bullshit
I'm not fat, they're fucked up
I'm not skinny, they're sick
I'm just tired of the critics
Who keep talking that bullshit
I was born like this
With eyes like this
Teeth like this
And thighs like this
A face like this
A waist like this
And when I die
I'll die like this...now
You're like school on Sunday
You ain't got no class
Keep running your mouth but
I just might kick your ass
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
Not made to measure, baby
One size does not fit all
I will not be the one
You make to take the fall
Let me hear you say...yeah!
You're so fat, you're fucked up
You're so skinny, you're sick
You're so tired of the magazines
Talking that bullshit
You're not fat, they're fucked up
You're not skinny, they're sick
You're just tired of the critics
Who keep talking that bullshit
Now what
Now what
Now what
What you gonna say the next time you see us
Now what
Now what
Now what
What you gonna say the next time you see me
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18. |
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MEMENTO MORI
Remember you are mortal
Remember you will die
Within this moment of truth
You must prove yourself divine
And when salvation comes
The water always rises
The devil hides his face
And smiles in his disguises
No mercy, pity or love
All pray in their distress
And in our garden of delight
There is no forgiveness
No mercy, pity or love
Your hero she will burn
Time flies among the roses
Infected by the worm
O kind and most sweet Jesus
The day of the dead has passed
They question our existence
For nothing ever lasts
Irreverent with regret
There is a howling storm
The angel fell from grace
And now her halo's filled with thorns
No mercy, pity or love
All pray in their distress
And in our garden of delight
There is no forgiveness
No mercy, pity or love
Your hero she will burn
Time flies among the roses
Infected by the worm
Ore para nosotros
Ore para nosotros
All my precious wounds will leak
From this prophecy I speak
Pierce my arms and my feet
Cast myself down on my knees
Through repentance she is saved
From her sins and hate within.
Mememto Mori
Hope and sentiments of faith
Benevolent and safe
Memento Mori
Ore para nosotros
Ore para nosotros
|
||||
19. |
Cold Hands, Warm Heart
03:52
|
|
||
COLD HANDS, WARM HEART
In the sunshine
Of an otherwise cloudy day
Do you believe in fate
Come what may
I've been heavy
And I’ve been light
I’ve been the one stayin' up all night
I've been low
And I’ve been high
Been the first to try
And I know my dark
Cold hands, warm heart
Save me from myself
In the darkness of an otherwise sunny day
Do you believe in fate
Come what may...
I've been strong
And I’ve been weak
I’ve been the one unafraid to speak
I've been wrong
And I’ve been right
Been the first to fight
And I know my dark
Cold hands, warm heart
Save me from myself
When I die
Bury me
Underneath the weeping tree
And when I rise
Carry me
To the hills for all to see
My life...
The brutal language of being in love
Why lie
The brutal language of being in
My life...
The brutal language of being in love
Why lie
The brutal language of being in love
|
||||
20. |
|
|||
BURN THE WITCH
I see her coming
Filled with her disease
Don't bother running
She sees me
Her smile is thick
So sick there ain't no cure
I never wanna be just like her
No
Burn...Burn the witch
I watch her leave
Still filled with her disease
Don't give a fuck what she thinks
Her hands are clean
But no one here believes
So full of shit
That she stinks
Burn...Burn the witch
Burn...Burn the bitch
The antithesis to everything she is
The enemy I am her nemesis
Miss ugliness will stick and linger
So I just focus on my middle finger
Burn...Burn the witch
Burn...Burn the witch
I see her coming
I see her, I see her
I see her coming
Burn the witch
I see her running
I see her, I see her
I see her running
Burn that witch
|
||||
21. |
|
|||
RELIGIOSITY
Through the eyes of vanity
Chaos and anarchy
You come to me
With open arms still needing
Have lamb, will martyr
Have lamb, will slaughter
Let me lay my hands upon you
And bring you to your knees
Religiosity
Dedication and belief
Your God can't help you now
Curiosity
There is no relief
My God is empty now
Through the eyes of vanity
The years of sanity
I come to you
With open wounds still bleeding
Have lamb, will martyr
Have lamb, will slaughter
Lay yourself upon me baby
And bring me to my knees
Religiosity
Dedication and belief
My God can't help me now
Curiosity
There is no relief
Your God is empty now
Obscene dirt worshiping heathens flock
To the Judas like flies on shit
The only way to get rid of the pain
Is just to live through it
And we are punished
For having no regrets
And we are banished
By those who bought into it
If knowing is cognition
And feeling is effect
Then doing is behavior
What comes next
Through the eyes of greed and lust
You never wanted to believe in us
Is it a love of lying
Or is it fear of dying
Does it really matter
If no one bothers trying
And in the aftermath
When there is nothing left
Will everyone just go away
when everything has been said
The road to perdition
Is paved with good intentions
The road to salvation
Is lined with your obsessions
|
||||
22. |
Hot In The House Of God
03:38
|
|
||
HOT IN THE HOUSE OF GOD
With a heavy heart
Somebody said
Let's go our separate ways
Our relationship is strained
In the vital stage
There is a lack of confidence
And you can feel our stress
A need for truth
Time to decide
What is and is not best
Faith
Subject to change
Forgive
Far too late
Fate
End of your game
Hot in the house of God
I rage
With a question left
I will confess
Put my mind
And past to rest
Termination of our trust
Friendships end
And this one must
The time has come
To make our move
And we can see
What we can't prove
The little things
That make no sense
Have all built up
To be immense
Faith
Subject to change
Forgive
Far too late
Fate
End of your game
Hot in the house of God
I rage
Faith
Subject to change
Forgive
Far too late
Fate
End of your game
Hot in the house of God
I rage
Hot-In-The-House-Of-God
Nothing's the same
Everything's changed
Faith
Subject to change
Forgive
Far too late
Fate
End of your game
Hot in the house of God
I rage
Faith - Subject to change
Forgive - Far too late
Fate - End of your game
Hot in the house of...God
Nothing's the same
Nothing's the same
For every minute you spend angry
You waste sixty seconds of happiness
|
||||
23. |
Through The Wound
04:47
|
|
||
THROUGH THE WOUND-
Late at night I watch as the sun comes up
The break of day is not enough
Was I really dead
And I remember how I felt
This time last year
Wonder will it disappear
Somethings gotta give
Never let go of that fiery sadness
Throat full of heart
Mouth of madness
By mistake I swallow another pill
Bittersweet is such a thrill
Try to feel alive
And I forget all the pain just goes away
Wish that I could sleep all day disconnect myself
Never let go of that fiery sadness
Throat full of heart
Mouth of madness
Is it better to defeat this monster
Be secure in the silence
Or to be devoured... devoured?
And when I stand before you at the end of this
Will I have enough guts to love
Those little slices of my death
Never let of that fiery sadness
Never let go of that fiery sadness
And I would rather have eyes that can't see
Ears that can’t hear
Lips that can't speak.
Than a heart which no longer can beat
This strange melancholy pervades me
At which I hesitate
To give the grave
And that beautiful name of...my life
On the other side of the scars
The way out is through the wound
On the other side of the scars
The way out is through the wound
Courage doesn't always roar
Sometimes courage is that little voice
At the end of the day that says
I'll try again tomorrow
|
||||
24. |
The Devil Walks
03:43
|
|
||
THE DEVIL WALKS
It takes a lot to get me down
When I'm high
I know you're no friend of mine
I can see the Devil in your eyes
Look at me, I'm Jesus Christ
All alone so throw your stones
At my words and lovely bones
Blood that's red and mouth that's mean
Raise your fucking hands with me
Forgive - I have sinned
Believe I'll do it again
Well, I've been down this road before
And every time
You never change your mind
You see me in black and white
Nailed to the cross and crucified
Look around me
Smell the flies
Judas filling me with lies
But I don't hide the blood I bleed
Raise your fucking hands with me
Forgive - I have sinned
Believe I'll do it again
Walk with me through the valley
Fear no evil
Walk with me
I'm the baddest motherfucker in the valley
With all of your questions
And words in your head
You went searching for God
And met the Devil instead
Walk with me through the valley
Fear no evil
Walk with me
Honesty is the holiest disease
|
||||
25. |
Spitfire
02:35
|
|
||
SPITFIRE
I put my trust in you
And you betrayed me
Took what I gave you
And fucking raped me
But you can't kill me
It's not that easy
I'm still standing
Still breathing
Spitfire
Spit hate
Spit all the shit you talk
Right back in your face
I spit liars
I spit names
I spit truth and my song remains the same
I gave you faith
When none believed you
Barely escaped
But who deceived who
You tried to guilt me
With things you'd tell me
You didn't build me
You can't sell me
Spitfire
Spit hate
Spit all the shit you talk
Right back in your face
I spit liars
I spit names
I spit truth and my song remains the same
Small man-big mouth
Small man-big mouth
Yeah
Fuck your label
Spitfire
Spit hate
Spit all the shit you talk
Right back in your face
I spit liars
I spit names
I spit truth and my song remains the same
Small man-big mouth
Misogynistic
Small man-big mouth
Chauvinistic
Small man-big mouth
Small man-big mouth
You suck
|
||||
26. |
|
|||
SPILLING OPEN
I watch the buzzards gather
But no one's dead today
Like sheep they follow after
And promise not to stray.
Her darling little bastards
Scarred with elitist black
But I know when I stab her
It won't be in her back
I’m spilling open
Inside my house of leaves
It doesn't matter what's been said
It's what my heart believes!
It seems the hive is buzzing
The bees protect their queen
While snakes with poison venom
Appear upon the scene
So ugly in their hatred
God bless the Maybelline
So arrogant that when she cuts
It's done for all to see
I’m spilling open
It's killing all of me.
And I hate I’ve become
From what's been done to me
Homecoming queens are pretty
From being dressed in pink
But perfume can't disguise a pig
and I can smell her stink
Miss Ann Thrope once sang to me
With words that tasted sweet
But now the slaughterhouse
Has turned her voice to meat
Not everybody's everything
They ever claim to be
Not everything is black and white
Friend or my enemy
I guess it doesn't really matter
When there's nothing left
Sometimes you gotta let it go
And just enjoy the death
|
||||
27. |
|
|||
READY FOR BLOOD
Daughters of Mara
Cast this net into the shallow
Drag the water
Personalities so hollow
Underneath the surface
Cowards tell their tales of woe
Count your casualties so clever
Nothing stays buried forever
Tell your god to ready for blood
Words will be your own demise
Tell your god to ready for blood
Loyalty is just a lie
Drag the water
Trust in those that we can see
Daughters of Mara
Recognize my enemies
Forgive our trespasses
Keep our conscious clean
Let me give your last words to the devil
Nothing stays buried forever
Tell your god to ready for blood
Words will be your own demise
Tell your god to ready for blood
Loyalty is just a lie
Time heals everything
Except this hatred in my heart
Friendships that can cease were never true
I'd rather be feared than be loved
Tell your god to ready for blood
Stay the fuck away from us
Tell your god to ready for blood
Tell your god we've had enough
Learn who is real
Recount them at a later date,
Burn Hollywood burn
All those that are so fake
Sleep deprived me
Of impulsiveness to lie
Now I send condolences
To those that we watched die
No good deed goes unpunished
In the end I won't remember
Words of enemies
Just the silence of those
Who claimed to be friends of me
Desecrated memories
Became a blessing in disguise
It took a brutal language
To open up my fucking eyes
|
||||
28. |
|
|||
CHAPTER III ♱ REFLECTION
With age comes wisdom and with each new chapter, an evolution. The elimination of tension by bringing it to consciousness and exorcising it with expression. The haunting “Ghosts and Good Stories” gave us the reckoning that was “A Southern Revelation” to which we went to war and struck a chord. The pen is mightier than the sword.
The Sacred Mood was our final offering of musical catharsis. The process of releasing and thereby providing relief from strong or repressed emotions. A purification. A cleansing through art. To scream is the very definition of a powerful cathartic ritual and journey through the human heart.
As I look back on our 9 albums in loving memory, I remember the blood, sweat and tears that often went into creating these songs with the man who still stands beside me today. "The Cathartic Collection" is a celebration of our relationship and a reflection of 20 years together in and around My Ruin. The beautiful brutality, the happiness and pain, the raw throat, the heavy riffs, the sacred and profane.
|
||||
29. |
|
|||
TENNESSEE ELEGY
Under a black and starry sky
Make my peace and say goodbye
Dig the grave and watch it die
Bury this in my mind
Within a stream of consciousness
Cold is so intense
My fingers freeze
But my language vents
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
Once sacred now irreverent
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
I’m unable to mend my fences
On top of white and snowy ground
Lose myself in the sound
My sorrows I drown
Listen to the wind howl
The darkness I feel
Winters chill in my bones
My heart will ache
But my words hit home
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
Once sacred now irreverent
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
I’m unable to mend my fences
This is an elegy
A funeral for your sins
This is a eulogy
This is your requiem
I turn and walk away
I’m growing colder by the day
I turn and walk away
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
Once sacred now irreverent
The unintended consequences
Of complicated friendships
I’m unable to mend my fences
This is an elegy
A funeral for your sins
This is a eulogy
This is your requiem
|
||||
30. |
|
|||
LONG DARK NIGHT
Hail Mary, full of grace
Be my muse and give me strength
Holy Mary, full of sin
Hear my prayer and let me in
Welcome to my long dark night
Can't sleep or close my eyes
Little slices of death I loathe them
Refuse to get to know them
My rebirth of a scream
Eternalux with a heart at peace
O Lord have mercy till it hurts
Heed my words
This revelation won't be televised
My sacrifice will be this long dark night
This revelation won't be televised
My sacrifice will be
This long dark night of the soul
Blessed is the one who reads
These words of prophecy
Heavy is the hand that smites
In God we trust and fight
We rise from the dead
And write our own new testament
Oh, Lord have mercy I'm in mourning
Heed my warning
This revelation won't be televised
My sacrifice will be this long dark night
This revelation won't be televised
My sacrifice will be
This long dark night of the soul
This, my winter of discontent
Listen as I repent
Bleed for me on this night long
Hear me as I speak in tongues
Blasphemy is so easy
When you've lost your faith and don't believe
Help me heal my mind
This happens every time
Hands out wide I say to you
Praise my scars and sacred wounds
Feel my pain and scripture inked in paint
I'm no saint
This revelation won't be televised
This revelation won't be televised
This revelation won't be televised
This revelation won't be televised
On this long dark night of my soul
|
||||
31. |
|
|||
HERETIC DREAMS
Myths are flowers of imagination
They grow freely fed by mystery
Watered by our hopes and faith in metaphor
Dressed up in the truth they beautifully adorn
Gardens of our minds reborn
Resurrected from the past we left behind
Religion
Just like superstition
Is the weed that strangles reason
Blood is beauty flowing from the veins
Of inspiration to our hearts
Beating as our dreams and real life collide
Decorated in our sins we shed our skins
Strengthen our lungs
Breathe and kill the demons
with the magic of our tongues
Religion
Just like superstition
Is the weed that strangles reason
The image of the lord has been replaced
By a mirror and the Devil’s face
A virtuous heretic shall be saved
Before a wicked Christian preys
Religion
Just like superstition
Is the weed that strangles reason
Religion
Just like superstition
Is the weed that strangles reason
|
||||
32. |
|
|||
EXCOMMUNICATED
Excommunicated
Another holy war
The cost of friendship is this heavy cross
I bare until I’m sore
Don’t find it necessary
To show my piety
These are the end of days no solace in this city
In a world that makes me sick
I will be your heretic
In a world that makes me sick
I will be your heretic
I split my lip
They cut their teeth
Sometimes silence is
A perfect scream
Don’t ask why this stone is in my hand
Won’t be seeing you again my friend
Excommunicated
Another holy war
Los Angeles is just a heavy dose
Of all that I deplore
The shine has left me
With no remorse or love
And all the soarings of my mind
Begin within my blood
In a world that’s filled with faith
You can’t take my blasphemy
In a world that’s filled with faith
You can’t take my blasphemy
I split my lip
They cut their teeth
Sometimes silence is
A perfect scream
Don’t ask why this stone is in my hand
Won’t be seeing you again my friend
This is the story of brothers
With dirty faces
A city filled with angels
Liars and betrayers
This is a requiem for a friend
And born of hate
A walk down memory lane
That took it all away
|
||||
33. |
Highly Explosive
03:56
|
|
||
HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE
I’ve got a knife inside my back
And it’s diggin’ deeper everyday
I’ve got a letter in my hand
With words I know I need to say
It makes me sick to think
We ever trusted or believed you
So stay the fuck away from us
Cause we no longer need you
I’m so ready
Yes I’m ready to unload again
Highly explosive
You were warned I might explode again
Yeah we’re ready, we’re so ready
Here we go again
You tried to stop us once
But this is now and that was then
I’m burning up again
I’m on fire motherfucker
Might explode again
You’re a lying motherfucker
I’ve read those ugly things you said
And I just can’t get em out my head
I’ve heard about your nasty mouth
The trash I know you talked all over town
It makes me sick to think
We ever trusted or believed you
So stay the fuck away from us
Cause we no longer need you
I’m so ready
Yes I’m ready to unload again
Highly explosive
You were warned I might explode again
Yeah we’re ready
We’re so ready, here we go again
You tried to stop us once
But this is now and that was then
I’m burning up again
I’m on fire motherfucker
Might explode again
Cause you’re a lyin’ motherfucker
And you know I’m crazy
A ticking time bomb baby
That’s right I’m fuckin' crazy
Highly explosive baby
I suggest you stay the fuck away from me
|
||||
34. |
|
|||
GOD IS A GIRL w/a BUTCHER KNIFE
Red are the lips
With a tongue so sharp
Kiss her mouth
And cut out her heart
I can feel the heat
From the sun I scorn
The sicken of the calm
Who know the storm
Suffer - Love her
Death is the veil
Which those who live call life
They sleep and it’s lifted
God is a girl with butcher knife
A butcher knife
Black is the hair
With the skin so white
Drown her sins
In the pale moonlight
I can feel the earth
Bleed beneath my feet
The strength of the dirt
Where the flesh is weak
Suffer - Lover
Death is the veil
Which those who live call life
They sleep and it’s lifted
God is a girl with butcher knife
Music, when harsh voices die
Vibrates in the memory
And so will thoughts
When thou art is gone
My words shall live on
Death is the veil
Which those who live call life
They sleep and it’s lifted
God is a girl with butcher knife
The mistress of the verbal hand grenade
Be my muse
The good book speaks to those
Who seek the truth
But where’s the proof
An eye for an eye
A tooth for a tooth
|
||||
35. |
|
|||
DIGGIN' FOR GHOSTS
Time waits for no one
The days grow older and I grow colder
This Devil's on my shoulder
And he's smiling at me
But I don’t trust what he’s saying
And I don’t wanna believe
I find it hard to cry when I'm spent
Tie the wires around my head
Pound the nails into my flesh
And I'm bleeding again
I'm diggin' for ghosts and good stories
Scarlet to the bone
If I kill all my demons
Will my angels leave me alone
Time waits for no one
The nights get longer and I get stronger
Your God is standing before me
With his arms out wide
But I don’t wanna give in to him
So he can judge me or my life
I find it hard to cry when I'm spent
Tie the wires around my head
Pound the nails into my flesh
And I'm bleeding again
I'm diggin' for ghosts and good stories
Scarlet to the bone
If I kill all my demons
Will my angels leave me alone
Time is like the wind
It leaves the light and lifts the heavy
I've seen my fate and I'm not afraid
In fact I’m ready
Each moment has its memory
And this too shall pass
Whether I wake or sleep
I still believe that nothing lasts...forever
Haughty eyes and a lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that devises wicked plots
Feet that are swift to run
I've burned my bridges down
Turned my back on this town
I've burned my bridges down
Turned my back on this town
Let us pray that we enter not into temptation
The spirit is willing indeed but the flesh is weak
And as you sow, shall you reap
In loving memory
|
||||
36. |
|
|||
DECONSECRATED
Built my church with words of violence
Spoke my sermons to the pious
I seek myself for guidance
My religion is defiance
Holy Mother you keep quiet
Truth hurts so you deny it
I can’t take another liar
Burn that witch till she’s on fire
Every friend is a future enemy
In this temple of doom and family
Sacrificed my life for this to be
All I know is all I ever will be
Praise my God in words of violence
Suffer for my art in silence
I speak in tongues to riot
My religion is defiance
Holy Father full of fear
Truth is you disappeared
I can never be your daughter
Just another lamb to slaughter
Every friend is a future enemy
In this temple of doom and family
Sacrificed my life for this to be
All I know is all I ever will be
This is a Southern Revelation
In with the new out with the old
This is a Southern Revelation
A restoration of a soul
I am light
In my world
I am darkness
A blasphemous girl
Every friend is a future enemy
In this temple of doom and family
Sacrificed my life for this to be
All I know is all I ever will be
I am light
In my world
I am darkness
A blasphemous girl
Every friend is a future enemy
In this temple of doom and family
Sacrificed my life for this to be
All I know is all I ever will be
|
||||
37. |
Honey Of The Human Soul
03:50
|
|
||
HONEY OF THE HUMAN SOUL
We fall into hell
And feel the slow burn all over us
Intoxicated by the sound
Darkness covers us
Deep inside the abyss
With voices in the air
Crimson skies open wide
While sunlight says a prayer
The pain inside is hard to hide
Our scars are sung in lullabies
Sung in lullabies
At night
We start to dream
And the wind begins to follow us
Now every wall in our room
Just wants to swallow us
Underneath I breathe
A sigh of relief
Turn the volume to ten
Just to hear myself scream
The pain inside is hard to hide
Our scars are sung in lullabies
Sung in lullabies
At night
I lose myself in the chaos
That comes with the day
Collaborate on the clouds
So I can feel safe
The music comes to me
Just like a friend and comforts me
A guilty conscious will confess
While words are haunting me
The pain inside is hard to hide
Our scars are sung in lullabies
Sung in lullabies
We store the honey of our human souls
Inside our tears
Gathered on wings of misery
We let go of our fears
We choose to let our moods
Create our escape
Turn off the world
And now we’re floating in space
|
||||
38. |
The Soulless Beast
04:05
|
|
||
THE SOULLESS BEAST
The soulless beast
He came to feast upon our hearts with sin
He took the form of many men
And called himself a friend
His charming words
They lead us to believe and follow him
We couldn’t see his teeth
But we could feel his grin
The abomination
That causes desolations
The abomination
That causes desolations
The soulless beast
Appeared so confident to gain our trust
Born of a jackal
But disguised himself as one of us
He changed his face and shape
When we would start to realize
He was as evil
As the book of Daniel prophesied
The abomination
That causes desolations
The abomination
That causes desolations
This is our seven daggers of Megiddo
This is our Holy Sacrament
This is our sacrificial lamb
Our moment to repent
No more trials and tribulation
Revenge is fueled by Nazarene
Tonight’s the night we pay our penance
This is our slaying of the beast
Faith
Means not wanting to know what’s true
Faith
Is a knowledge in the heart beyond the reach of proof
The abomination
That causes desolations
The abomination
That causes desolations
|
||||
39. |
Abusing the Muse
03:24
|
|
||
ABUSING THE MUSE
I've had enough of all this pressure
This heavy cross has got me bruised
There is no God, prophet or scripture
That is more sacred than the truth
Tonight I testify (testify)
And you've got no excuse (no excuse)
I won't apologize (no apologies)
When I abuse my muse
I will defy your sense of righteous
Your indignation of my words
Sanctify you with my honesty
I get so holy it hurts
Tonight I testify (testify)
And you've got no excuse (testify)
I won't apologize (testify)
When I abuse my muse
How can I exorcise my Demons
Without my true confessions
Rants and revelations
How will I get to heaven?
I will condemn your acts of hate
And criticize your arrogance
I will offend your book of faith
And publicize your ignorance
Tonight I testify (testify)
And you've got no excuse (testify)
I won't apologize (testify)
When I abuse my muse
Tonight I testify (testify)
Speak my mind (testify)
Testify (testify)
Holy my hand up high
I won't apologize
|
||||
40. |
|
|||
MORIENDO RENASCOR
Life and death and time remind us
Leave the dust of past behind us
Mourn the memories of our mistakes
Take our secrets to the grave
Blessed is the beast that rises
From the ashes of our vices
Warnings that must be conveyed
Truth is not in being saved
Like a phoenix on the bone
In death we are reborn
Feel the fire burn and scorn
Moriendo Renascor
Like a phoenix on the bone
In death we are reborn
Feel the fire burn and scorn
Moriendo Renascor
In this garden filled with
Earthly vanities temptation lies
Divine salvation only comes
To those who die
Spirits come and give us light
Haunting hearts as black as night
When the skies turn dark and grey
The dead will have their way
Like a phoenix on the bone
In death we are reborn
Feel the fire burn and scorn
Moriendo Renascor
Like a phoenix on the bone
In death we are reborn
Feel the fire burn and scorn
Moriendo Renascor
This too shall pass
So come what may
Your tomorrow is today
Each night I go to sleep and mourn
When I wake I am reborn
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